OT: Coping with putting our dog down

sportdan30 · Post by **sportdan30** » Fri Aug 11, 2006 11:22 pm

Yesterday after work, my wife and I both agreed to have our nine year old yellow lab put down. A few weeks ago, she stopped eating her dog food. Zoe always gobbled down her food the second you laid the bowl down. We both assumed she was being her finicky self of not eating. In the past, she might have gone a day or two without eating, most likely because of her tummy not feeling good.

Anyways, not to drag this post on about the particulars, but it turned out her liver enzymes were extremely high, she was dehydrated even though she was still drinking, and she was deteriorating right before our eyes. The Vet said she most likely had cancer of the liver. They could try and give her fluids for a couple days, and while that would cost around $500, it might not be enough to flush out the toxins. They'd still have to do surgery and take a biopsy. If she was half her age, I think I would have said lets try anything at this point. But, because of her age and how incredibly sad she looked, we did what we thought was best. The Vet by the way was so incredibly kind and reassured us that it wouldn't be inhumane to let her go. Zoe had just gone downhill so fast, I have many regrets now for not spending more time with her.

I never thought it'd be this difficult to let go of a pet. She was always our constant. Always following my wife around, or coming downstairs to lay with me while I was watching tv, laying with either one of us when we were sick, etc. Most often, she layed at the foot of my son's bed while he slept. While my 4 year old son and 2 year old daughter haven't skipped a beat since she's been gone, Zoe loved us and them unconditionally.

While I know eventually we'll probably adopt another dog, part of me doesn't want another one. I know it can't even come close to burying a son or daughter, it's still extremely painful to go through. I guess I'm most surprised that it's hit me this hard. I just keep thinking she should have lived another 3-5 years. My wife's been crying since yeserday, and it tears me apart we've lost our baby.

If anyone has gone through a similar experience, how long did it take for you to get over the loss of your pet?

In closing, thanks for taking the time to read this.

Dave · Post by **Dave** » Fri Aug 11, 2006 11:33 pm

Sorry to hear about your loss, Dan.

My wife and I had to put down our first cat after having her for just over a year. Forget which disease she had, but it was a similar experience where she just stopped eating and was slowly fading away. She was also my first pet, so I know what you mean about being surprised by how much it affects you. Still think about the little squirt every now and then and feel a bit down.

At first, I didn't even think about getting a new pet...probably a few months. But after about 6 months we took a trip to the humane society to look around--not surprisingly, a new pet returned home with us.

GameSeven · Post by **GameSeven** » Fri Aug 11, 2006 11:55 pm

Sorry about your loss. My cousin took in an abused Dachsund from a shelter about 5 years ago that just passed from Cushing's disease. It's a tough loss whenever you lose such a loyal companion. In my cousin's case it was nice that he was able to give his dog a better late life than it had had as a pup.

In my case, I've got an 11-year old and a 7-year old and I know it'll be heartbreaking when they pass. My 11-year old first came home with me and met my grandfather who has since passed. He doted on her and I'll always cherish the memories of the two of them together.

Time always has a way of easing the sorrow and when the time is right, I'd wager you'd feel better sharing your home with another dog. Be well.

-G7

Bill_Abner · Post by **Bill_Abner** » Sat Aug 12, 2006 12:04 am

You'll never get over it. But in all honesty the best thing you can do, or at least the best thing we did, was to get another dog -- and don't be afraid to do it ASAP. I've been through this three times, and it never gets better or easier, but getting a new puppy helps a ton.

WillHunting · Post by **WillHunting** » Sat Aug 12, 2006 12:06 am

I am sorry to read this, it is so very sad to have to put down something you love so much. We recently got 2 dogs and they really have captured our hearts, we cannot imagine not having them around, never mind putting them down (even if it is the humane thing to do).

I know they are only "pets", but we certainly don't treat them like pets. To us, they are family. They love us unconditionally and always want to love and lick. And we love them back and try to give them a good life.... We don't want to think that far, I hope they live for a long time.

Anyway, sorry to read about your loss. Keep her alive in your memories and maybe adopt another. You would be doing a great thing and it will love you all the more for it.

Best of luck.

dbdynsty25 · Post by **dbdynsty25** » Sat Aug 12, 2006 12:06 am

Damn Dan...I'm sorry to hear that. What's really weird is that I have a good friend that just had to put her dog (Zoe) down as well last week. Must be a bad week for dogs with that name. Sorry to hear about your loss though...Bill is right...get another dog to help with the pain...dogs work wonders for the mind.

MizzouRah · Post by **MizzouRah** » Sat Aug 12, 2006 12:14 am

Sad Dan, sad. My dad had to put down their dog about a month ago, he called me and could barely talk he was so upset. We have two dogs and two cats and I can't imagine coming home without seeing them greet me.

My dad just bought a new dog, same breed and he seems much higher in spirits now, so I recommend the same as everyone else has suggested.

Take care, I'm sure your dog had a great life.

Diablo25 · Post by **Diablo25** » Sat Aug 12, 2006 12:51 am

Sorry to hear Dan. I love the pups and I'm sure yours was a good one. Take care.

nyisles16 · Post by **nyisles16** » Sat Aug 12, 2006 1:04 am

sorry to hear about you pet, sportsdan... i am on the family's "3rd" dog right now.. the only dog we had to put down was the second, a golden retriever named "Teddy".. he was a great dog.. what happened was that, as is common with the breed, he had epilepsy which could not be treated.. very painful to watch the dog just suddenly drop to the floor, & have his seizures (often times i would just stay in the basement or in my room to not see this).. after a short time, it was best that Teddy be put out of his misery.. my dad was the one who Teddy to the vet.. for someone who really doesn't show emotions, he had to break down, because when he was leaving, the dog turned his head to give him one last look... saddly, it seems that our 3rd dog, an English Springer Spaniel named "Boomer" is at age as well (14 years old, becoming deaf, & having trouble climbing up stairs - his back feet seem to give out).. while it is not like losing a child or parent, pets to me become part of the family..

again my condolences sportsdan...

JRod · Post by **JRod** » Sat Aug 12, 2006 1:09 am

Having a dog myself (4 year old border collie) I can't imagine the day but I know it will come.

It's a tough loss as pet owner's know.

PantherFan · Post by **PantherFan** » Sat Aug 12, 2006 2:07 am

So sorry to hear of your loss. I went through this a few years back when my 5 year old Corgi died unexpectedly. It still tears me up when I think of my wifes scream when she got up to use the bathroom and found Rusty gone at our feet on the bed. That incident pretty much made me a paranoid wreck. Listen to Bill Abner's advice and adopt a new pup. I waited a whole 5 days, contacted a breeder and got another Corgi. It will never replace Zoe, but will occupy your time and help to fill the void.
Don't beat yourself up, about not spending enough time with her. I am sure you and your wife gave her a good home, lots of love, and plenty of time. Dogs pretty much just love being around people who love them.
I am looking forward to your post titled OT: I got a new puppy!

G.M. (Pantherfan)

Badgun · Post by **Badgun** » Sat Aug 12, 2006 2:50 am

I know where you're coming from Dan. We just recently lost our 13 year old german shepherd. She had been having problems with one of her hips and had developed a noticeable limp. One morning about 2 months ago, I went out to feed her and she literally could not get up. Her back legs were not working. She tried several times to get up, but couldn't.

I came back inside and called my wife at work and told her that we may have to have her put to sleep. I couldn't imagine doing that and the thought of it brought tears to my eyes.

We called the vet and he recommended some joint pills for older large dogs. The things were pretty expensive, but I was willing to do anything if it would help her. She responded almost immediately. She got better and was even running again in a few days. I might also mention that she was almost completely deaf as well. We had to practically yell at her to get her attention.
So we had been giving her the pills for about a month and she was hanging in there. Some days were better than others, but she was still getting around ok.

Then the worst happened. She was absolutely terrified of storms. I mean completely nutso afraid of them. Even though she had a dog house and my kids playhouse to go into, she would just run aimlessly around in the yard, terrified of the storm. Even when the wind would blow hard before the storm got here, she would be panicking. She had been this way for years and I had replaced a gate to my backyard almost every summer as she would try and rip it down to get out.

About a month ago, we had two of the worst storms we've had in awhile. Back to back nights, violent thunder, nasty lightning, and rain coming down an inch an hour. We got over 4 inches of rain in two nights. The morning after the second storm, I went out to feed her and called for her, but she did not come. Thinking that she couldn't hear me, I assumed she was around the back of the playhouse lying down as she did this a lot since it was shady. My wife came home from work and went out to look for her. She found her dead out by her dog house, her eyes still open. The best we can figure is that with both nights of those terrible storms, she must have had a heart attack or something. Talking with the vet, he agreed that the stress from the two storms on an already aging dog, may have been too much for her.

So we buried her under her favorite tree she spend so many years under. She was a big dog so I had to dig a hole about 6 foot long and 3 feet deep. I cried like a baby the entire time I was digging. This dog had been a part of our family for almost 14 years. Even on her worst days with all of her health problems, she always would come to me with her tail wagging. Even now, a month later, I still feel empty. When I pull in the driveway, I miss her coming to the fence to greet me. Even though she couldn't hear, she always knew when we came home.

Anyway, we are thinking of getting another big dog to keep outside, but right now, the time just isn't right.

Sorry for your loss, I know how you feel.

F308GTB · Post by **F308GTB** » Sat Aug 12, 2006 6:51 am

Sorry to hear it. We've lost a couple of cats. One was extremely hard on me and another not so much. You have the same grief as you do with humans, and there is certainly nothing wrong with that - if you didn't we'd say there was something wrong with you. I can understand your feelings for your dog. The death that hit me hardest was when we had to put down our youngest cat. Just wasn't fair to see an innocent animal only have 6 or so years before being snuffed out. The other one had been with us since we were married. Her death wasn't nearly as painful since she lived a long life. Right now our oldest cat, at 18+ years, is sitting next to me. I know when he goes I won't be so sad since he's had a long cat life. It's those unexpected ones such as in your case, that really hurt. Our young one had intestinal cancer and had a very, very poor prognosis. I still get melancholy thinking of him (and our other) to this day, several years after the fact. What can you say - they are your family, your children, your friends. They stand by you like people don't and depend on you.

It just takes time. There's no set timetable. Just let it run itself.

DivotMaker · Post by **DivotMaker** » Sat Aug 12, 2006 10:21 am

Dan,

I can certainly feel you and your wife's pain as we have had to put our first two dogs down several years ago. Both had lived long lives 12+ years. They were great dogs (both adopted Heinz 57's). It breaks your heart when you finally realize there is nothing you can do to help them and you have to let them go. I cried harder putting my dogs down than anything I have ever done. We now have a 9 year old Miniature Schnauzer whose coat is arctic white. She was my birthday present 9 years ago and is without a doubt the best dog I have ever been blessed with. We also have a pug we rescued from an abusive family that is now 8 years old. Se is my wife's dog and they share a similar relationship. These dogs are like our 3rd and 4th children.

It will take some time to feel better, but another dog is likely in your future. Dogs and cats need GOOD homes and it sounds like you and your wife give just that. It would be a shame if you did not get to enjoy another relationship with another dog soon...

Take Care and thanks for sharing,

Tim

sportdan30 · Post by **sportdan30** » Sat Aug 12, 2006 10:34 am

Thanks a ton for sharing guys. The condolences mean a lot, and knowing that several of you have gone through the same experience helps a bit with the healing process.

I think we'll most likely wait a couple years until the kids are a little bit older to help take care of our next pup. At this point, I think it might be unfair to the puppy as we're so consumed with our kids right now. Until they become a bit more self sufficient, I feel as though we wouldn't give the puppy the attention it deserves.

jondiehl · Post by **jondiehl** » Sat Aug 12, 2006 1:57 pm

Bill_Abner wrote:You'll never get over it. But in all honesty the best thing you can do, or at least the best thing we did, was to get another dog -- and don't be afraid to do it ASAP. I've been through this three times, and it never gets better or easier, but getting a new puppy helps a ton.

Ditto.

The quickest/easist way to get over a loss of a pet is to get a new puppy. You're so busy cleaning up accidents and training the new dog that it gets your mind off of the one you've just lost.

Teal · Post by **Teal** » Sat Aug 12, 2006 3:30 pm

I notice PK hasn't given his condolences...go figure...

I know where you're coming from, man. It's hard to lose a dog you've had for so long. The attachment is a strange one, but it is undeniable.

I concur with the 'get another dog' crowd. It's like therapy...

XXXIV · Post by **XXXIV** » Sat Aug 12, 2006 3:44 pm

I am sorry to hear too...I understand your loss completely.

I never personally had a dog or cat but My gf had one for many years before she moved in with me... The three of used to open Xmas presents together...Sounds weird, Im sure to some, but she was part of Our family before she died...My gf was sad for a long time. She still keeps the dogs pic in our bedroom.

I agree too, with geting another one..My gf keeps taking me to the puppy store but sadly they wont let us have a dog where we live.

JackB1 · Post by **JackB1** » Sat Aug 12, 2006 6:51 pm

I have a 14 year old terrier and I know that day is coming. I know it will be extrememly difficult dealing with that day. This dog has been with me longer than my wife. They become part of you and when they are gone there is a huge void. Even when she is away at the groomers for the day, it feels weird without her around.

I have to agree that getting a new pup would help to keep all your focus over the lost one. But go to the shelter and rescue a dog that otherwise might not have a chance. You will be saving a life and getting a new best friend at the same time.

sportdan30 · Post by **sportdan30** » Sat Aug 12, 2006 7:25 pm

Without a doubt, when we do decide to get another dog, we'll check the humane society first.

As horrible as I feel to have put down our nine year old lab, it pains me to think there are loving healthy pets younger than Zoe that'll never get a chance to go to a good home.

Pete · Post by **Pete** » Sat Aug 12, 2006 9:23 pm

My wife and I had a boxer for the first 12 years of our marriage. He tore a lot of things up, cost me a ton of money, was dumb as a doorknob, but, like everyone else here, he was family.

He had some tumor problems late that the vet said could not be taken care of. We were actually planning on taking him in one Saturday to put him down. But as I made myself a sandwich, he was there looking at me for a bite. I stated that he was not ready to go yet.

Six weeks later I was sitting, watching TV, eating something. As he usually did, he was right there in case I dropped something. Well, all of a sudden he fell over and that was it. I sat there, eyes wide open, not knowing what to do. My kids, 9 and 6 at the time, were outside. I went into the garage and, one of the hardest things I have had to do, told them that Dobber had died. They came in the house and kneeled next to him and cried. We buried him on our side lot and have an angel statue looking over him.

A few weeks later, we got Petey, a yellow lab. Did he replace Dobber? No, but it sure did help. He is a fine dog that we all love.

Sportdan, I am sorry to hear of your loss.

sportdan30 · Post by **sportdan30** » Sun Aug 13, 2006 11:00 am

Thanks Pete.

The wife is really interested in the Puggle, a mixture between a Pug and a Beagle. I'm not a big fan of the Pug, but the Puggle is very cute and doesn't have that horrible breathing issue. Here's a pic attached.

http://members.optusnet.com.au/~charles ... ainpic.jpg

mobiggins · Post by **mobiggins** » Sun Aug 13, 2006 2:48 pm

Dan, like everyone else who's responded, I'm sorry to hear about your friend. I had the coolest cat but some neighborhood dumbass ran her over. Finding her on the street in front of my house dead was pretty hard. Thankfully she had been struck, but not actually run over, so it was a bit easier to find her that way, if anything. I took in a stray kitten after that, but she was a dumb little thing who only stuck around for food and otherwise pretended like I wasn't even her owner. We took in my sister's cat, who is almost as cool as my first cat, but not quite there. Last winter, I took in another stray kitten, named him Neko, and he's by far the best cat I've ever had. I can't imagine how torn up I'd be if he passed, not to have him there every morning to wake me up by licking my face. I would agree with everyone in here who suggested another pup.

JRod · Post by **JRod** » Sun Aug 13, 2006 3:16 pm

sportdan30 wrote:Thanks Pete.

The wife is really interested in the Puggle, a mixture between a Pug and a Beagle. I'm not a big fan of the Pug, but the Puggle is very cute and doesn't have that horrible breathing issue. Here's a pic attached.

http://members.optusnet.com.au/~charles ... ainpic.jpg

Pugs have all sorts of problems that require medical attention later on in life. FYI.

I'm going to put in a vote for a border collie. They are a great dog but need a lot of room. That's what they say however my dog has turned into an inside dog. That doesn't mean we don't go for runs and walks but he'd rather be inside. I guess I got lucky.

I can't see enough for smart "breeds". Sometimes being that smart will surprise you as the owner. Other times they are too smart for their own good.

When I got Quarter I was looking at getting either a jack russel terrior or a lab. However the humane society didn't have one so I took a look a some other dogs. Quarter ran over and jumped on me, so that was it. Quarter is a smooth hair collie (not as shaggy as a true border collie).

I will say if you are looking at getting a dog from a humane society be prepared to work through some emotional problems. It will be rare to find a dog that had a good life and the owner had to give it up. More than likely they were in a home that wasn't the best place for the dog. And they will come home being scared and protective. Mine was also malnurished. He would growl when you got near him while he was eating. He would nip at everyone. And being a pup he was borderline nuts and uncontrollable. But with some work and after the "puppy" left him he's a great little guy.

I think getting a dog from the human society is a great way to go. But be prepared to deal more than just taking care of the dog. There's a reason they are at the pound. If you go into it with that mindset, and knowing he's going to come with baggage it will make life easier when he eats something he shouldn't.

Boltman · Post by **Boltman** » Sun Aug 13, 2006 5:10 pm

Sorry for your loss Dan, it was not to long ago that me and my boss were talking about him and his wife losing their Lab. I felt the need to relate your story to him because it will hit so close to home for him.

I hope you dont mind, I forwarded your post to my boss and this was his response to your post. I think you will like the insight.

"We lost Zipper in January of 03' - I recall it clearly as it was the day after our banquet at Dave & Busters, little did I know after all those festivities those 4 days, that the next day would hold such grief for Sue and I, and that it would last so long. We are not over it yet, still the tears flow when we talk about her. This e-mail you sent is right-on Albert, unfortunately for us animal lovers. We also were there for Zipper when she was put down,..... horrible. I am choking-up as I write this but that is good as I (we) don't want to forget her.

Thanks and I hope you and Wendy can get a big beautiful lab for your kids. It will change their lives and it is good for protection as well, nobody will be able to get near them! Thanks again Albert - have a good Sat. -
notice I didn't say weekend as I know we put a damper on that each Sunday. I do appreciate this e-mail."