just curious....
I am 3 years married.
I got married late in life (early 40's) and I was wondering if everyone hits a point after being married a few years, where they question if they did the right thing or if they made a mistake? Is this normal? Some days I am very happy with married life and some days I think I was happier when single. One part of me says that if I am questioning it at all, then something is wrong. Another part of me says, it's normal to feel this way and maybe I should just accept it.
Anyways....sorry to drop this bomb on you guys. Just wondering if any of you were in the same boat and how you dealt with it?
Poll: Single or Married?
Moderators: Bill_Abner, ScoopBrady
I married at 32. Very happy. But to be honest, marriage can be work. It is something I am glad I did, but cannot imagine ever doing again. I know my wife agrees with me on this. I am certainly not the easiest person in the world to live with and it works both ways.
There are down periods in a marriage just like there are down periods in pretty much everything. With all of the pressures that come around the holidays I would certainly not want to make a big life decision right now and I would wait until after the first of the year to even think about something like this.
There are down periods in a marriage just like there are down periods in pretty much everything. With all of the pressures that come around the holidays I would certainly not want to make a big life decision right now and I would wait until after the first of the year to even think about something like this.
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matthewk
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Married 6 years. Two kids, a 4 year old boy and 1 year old girl.
This is always a tricky issue to deal with. Everyone handles marriage differently, so there is no checklist to say for certain if you "made the right choice". It's really all up to you. How much do you really miss being single? Are there certain aspects you miss, like the freedom of going wherever you want whenever you want? Marriage changes your lifestyle, just as having kids does. It's really a matter of what you can deal with and what in life is most important to you.
Personally, there are times when I think back fondly to my single days. There are times I miss being able to just go out somewhere with my friends on a moments notice, or spend the weekend just jumping from one relaxing task to another (like biking, rollerblading, even shopping). That said, I wouldn't trade my family for anything. I love playing with the kids, but there are times I want "my" time. Finding a balance helps a lot. I have one night a week set aside for volleyball leagues. That is "my" time, and the wife knows that night is hers with the kids. We also set time aside for each of us to have our own free time, and free time together by taking the kids to grandma & grandpas.
After reading this I can tell this wil not give you a definitive answer. Then again, no here or anywhere else can except for you. All we can do is share our experiences and thoughts on the matter and hopefully these will help you form you decision.
best of luck to you, whatever peace you come to.
This is always a tricky issue to deal with. Everyone handles marriage differently, so there is no checklist to say for certain if you "made the right choice". It's really all up to you. How much do you really miss being single? Are there certain aspects you miss, like the freedom of going wherever you want whenever you want? Marriage changes your lifestyle, just as having kids does. It's really a matter of what you can deal with and what in life is most important to you.
Personally, there are times when I think back fondly to my single days. There are times I miss being able to just go out somewhere with my friends on a moments notice, or spend the weekend just jumping from one relaxing task to another (like biking, rollerblading, even shopping). That said, I wouldn't trade my family for anything. I love playing with the kids, but there are times I want "my" time. Finding a balance helps a lot. I have one night a week set aside for volleyball leagues. That is "my" time, and the wife knows that night is hers with the kids. We also set time aside for each of us to have our own free time, and free time together by taking the kids to grandma & grandpas.
After reading this I can tell this wil not give you a definitive answer. Then again, no here or anywhere else can except for you. All we can do is share our experiences and thoughts on the matter and hopefully these will help you form you decision.
best of luck to you, whatever peace you come to.
-Matt
I waited until I was 29 to get married (I'm 33 now) and yes, I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be single again... although my best friend is 32 and calls me on those empty nights when he's lonely. So I guess it has it's up and downs, just like anything in life.
I have two beautiful daughters that came from this marriage and my wife does everything for me. I just have that wildness still left over from my teenage years, I guess.
It's ok to feel that way Jack.
Todd
I have two beautiful daughters that came from this marriage and my wife does everything for me. I just have that wildness still left over from my teenage years, I guess.
It's ok to feel that way Jack.
Todd
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pk500
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Married my wonderful wife 12 days shy of my 26th birthday. Thirteen-plus years later, we're going stronger than ever, with two kids and one on the way.
Frau is my best friend in the world. Can't imagine life without her.
That said, there are days where we're at each other's throat. But that's to be expected when you live with someone. Not everyone is perfectly compatible. If you are, then I don't think you're being completely honest with your mate, or vice-versa.
But the good days dwarf the bad. Marriage is a berry, berry good thing for me, as the great Chico Esquela would have said.
Out,
PK
Frau is my best friend in the world. Can't imagine life without her.
That said, there are days where we're at each other's throat. But that's to be expected when you live with someone. Not everyone is perfectly compatible. If you are, then I don't think you're being completely honest with your mate, or vice-versa.
But the good days dwarf the bad. Marriage is a berry, berry good thing for me, as the great Chico Esquela would have said.
Out,
PK
"You know why I love boxers? I love them because they face fear. And they face it alone." - Nick Charles
"First on the throttle, last on the brakes." - @MotoGP Twitter signature
XBL Gamertag: pk4425
"First on the throttle, last on the brakes." - @MotoGP Twitter signature
XBL Gamertag: pk4425
Married for 5 months now (we were 24 and 25 at the time), but we lived together for the entirety of our engagement, so we've lived together for 2 years. Not much of a change from that really, but there are definitely those "wish I were single" moments, but they are few and far between.
They often come after unwrapping a new game and also having housework that I know I have to do. She's luckily come full circle on my gaming habits (she even surprised me with ESPN NBA 2k5 when she saw it for $10). She HATED it in college, but now understands it is just like her watching a chick flick to relax. If anything, since our marriage we understand the importance of having separate hobbies better than ever.
They often come after unwrapping a new game and also having housework that I know I have to do. She's luckily come full circle on my gaming habits (she even surprised me with ESPN NBA 2k5 when she saw it for $10). She HATED it in college, but now understands it is just like her watching a chick flick to relax. If anything, since our marriage we understand the importance of having separate hobbies better than ever.
xbl/psn tag: dave2eleven
let me clarify.........I don't prefer my "single" days to my married ones. I enjoy the company of a woman. I just wonder if I married the "right" one or if I rushed into it because I am getting up there in age? I guess I was expecting her to stay exactly the "same girl I married" forever, but that was probably naive thinking.
I agree with Matt that you need to think more specifically about what you think you are missing if you have not already done so, rather than just "being single." Then see if there is a way to work some of these things into your married life.
Personally, I've been married for just over 6 years, and the best thing in my life is being a husband and father.
Personally, I've been married for just over 6 years, and the best thing in my life is being a husband and father.
Mrs. Brando and I got married relatively young (23), and we've been married 10 years. I couldn't imagine not being married. But it's not like every day feels like the first day of marriage. You hit patches where you fall into routine, sure. We actually don't fight much becuase we're so alike, we tend to agree most of the time. But even if we did argue more, I would still want to be married to her.
I got a bit of the "It's a Wonderful Life" treatment last year. There was a teaching opening at Northern Michigan University, in the UP. It was just a one-year temp job, but the money was good, my wife was just out of grad school, and the job experience would be really helpful. Problem was, I have a good job in Iowa, we didn't want to relocate, and even if we did, I wasn't sure what I'd do up there. So we decided to do the long-distance thing for the school year.
At first, I'll admit, I did the "mine" dance for a bit. I played an unhealthy amount of video games (KOTOR was out, which didn't help matters). Ate what I wanted, cleaned at my discretion, went out drinking, watched sports when I wanted, etc. I certainly missed my wife, but I thought I would cruise through the year without too much trouble. We saw each other every other weekend, it seemed manageable (especially since, as a Navy brat, I saw my parents deal with six-month separations).
After about a month, though, that changed. I got kind of depressed about the whole situation. I really missed her, and the rest of the year really dragged. When she got back in June, we both agreed that we never wanted to spend time apart like that again.
The whole experience just drove home how much I need my wife on a daily basis. It's very easy to get into a predictable routine when you live with the same person every day. But that routine can actually contribute to your happiness and stability.
I got a bit of the "It's a Wonderful Life" treatment last year. There was a teaching opening at Northern Michigan University, in the UP. It was just a one-year temp job, but the money was good, my wife was just out of grad school, and the job experience would be really helpful. Problem was, I have a good job in Iowa, we didn't want to relocate, and even if we did, I wasn't sure what I'd do up there. So we decided to do the long-distance thing for the school year.
At first, I'll admit, I did the "mine" dance for a bit. I played an unhealthy amount of video games (KOTOR was out, which didn't help matters). Ate what I wanted, cleaned at my discretion, went out drinking, watched sports when I wanted, etc. I certainly missed my wife, but I thought I would cruise through the year without too much trouble. We saw each other every other weekend, it seemed manageable (especially since, as a Navy brat, I saw my parents deal with six-month separations).
After about a month, though, that changed. I got kind of depressed about the whole situation. I really missed her, and the rest of the year really dragged. When she got back in June, we both agreed that we never wanted to spend time apart like that again.
The whole experience just drove home how much I need my wife on a daily basis. It's very easy to get into a predictable routine when you live with the same person every day. But that routine can actually contribute to your happiness and stability.
I've been married for 4 1/2 years now. She is my best friend. We have common beliefs and goals in the important areas, but different personalities. I really think we complement each other very well.
A few years ago we met up with one of my single friends and he was commenting on how he met someone he was interested in at a wave pool. Since that time, my wife and I refer to single life as "the wave pool." I can't imagine being back there. When I see the hot women that turn every warm-blooded male's head and I fantasize about being with those women, I just remember that those were the women that wouldn't have anything to do with me. I also remember Chris Rock's lines, "new pus*sy can't cook" and "new pus*sy is illiterate."
My wife is a wonderful wife, mother, and friend. I will enjoy spending the rest of my life with her.
A few years ago we met up with one of my single friends and he was commenting on how he met someone he was interested in at a wave pool. Since that time, my wife and I refer to single life as "the wave pool." I can't imagine being back there. When I see the hot women that turn every warm-blooded male's head and I fantasize about being with those women, I just remember that those were the women that wouldn't have anything to do with me. I also remember Chris Rock's lines, "new pus*sy can't cook" and "new pus*sy is illiterate."
My wife is a wonderful wife, mother, and friend. I will enjoy spending the rest of my life with her.
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pk500
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The three best weeks of my year are in May, when I'm in Indy to work with friends at the greatest sporting event in the world, the Indianapolis 500.
The three worst weeks of my year are in May, when I'm away from my wife and kids working at the greatest sporting event in the world, the Indianapolis 500.
It's one of the countless reasons why I respect the Armed Forces serving in Iraq and Afghanistan so much. I nearly lose my mind being away from my wife and kids for three weeks, and I'm working at a racetrack in a climate-controlled media center, with an expense account.
These brave people are away from their families for more than a year, and they're fighting for their lives nearly every day in the sh*tiest conditions one can imagine.
Take care,
PK
The three worst weeks of my year are in May, when I'm away from my wife and kids working at the greatest sporting event in the world, the Indianapolis 500.
It's one of the countless reasons why I respect the Armed Forces serving in Iraq and Afghanistan so much. I nearly lose my mind being away from my wife and kids for three weeks, and I'm working at a racetrack in a climate-controlled media center, with an expense account.
These brave people are away from their families for more than a year, and they're fighting for their lives nearly every day in the sh*tiest conditions one can imagine.
Take care,
PK
"You know why I love boxers? I love them because they face fear. And they face it alone." - Nick Charles
"First on the throttle, last on the brakes." - @MotoGP Twitter signature
XBL Gamertag: pk4425
"First on the throttle, last on the brakes." - @MotoGP Twitter signature
XBL Gamertag: pk4425
I'm 41 years old and I've been married now for 17 years. I have a 12 year old daughter and a 7 year old son.
I love my wife very much, but in all honesty, I got married too young. I got too impatient with my love life (or lack thereof) and jumped at the first reasonable opportunity, and I was too dumb at that point to understand how much you marry into your spouse's family, a situation I must now say I regret.
Sorry to rain on people's parade, but at this point in my life, I can't say I'm a huge fan of marriage. Children are wonderful, no doubt, as any father here will tell you. And I love my wife very much. But if I knew then what I know now (not about my wife but about life in general), I would have waited and done it differently.
The other thing I'd say is that when people say that marriage is a partnership, they mean it. And I do mean partnership in every sense of the word. When two people quit working together for any length of time and/or when one person carries the other for any length of time, married life can be very difficult. I know this from experience.
I love my wife very much, but in all honesty, I got married too young. I got too impatient with my love life (or lack thereof) and jumped at the first reasonable opportunity, and I was too dumb at that point to understand how much you marry into your spouse's family, a situation I must now say I regret.
Sorry to rain on people's parade, but at this point in my life, I can't say I'm a huge fan of marriage. Children are wonderful, no doubt, as any father here will tell you. And I love my wife very much. But if I knew then what I know now (not about my wife but about life in general), I would have waited and done it differently.
The other thing I'd say is that when people say that marriage is a partnership, they mean it. And I do mean partnership in every sense of the word. When two people quit working together for any length of time and/or when one person carries the other for any length of time, married life can be very difficult. I know this from experience.
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dbdynsty25
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I'm 24, been married for 17 months. My wife is 22, she decided to get married while in college and move here to Memphis (we went to school in Charlotte together). No regrets, I love my wife and the times we spend. Sure there are awful days, but those are overshoadowed by the normal and good days.
However, I ran into an ex-girlfriend on Monday night (the wife is out of town) and boy did she look good!! I must say that my self control has improved GREATLY since I was in college!
However, I ran into an ex-girlfriend on Monday night (the wife is out of town) and boy did she look good!! I must say that my self control has improved GREATLY since I was in college!
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FloridaGators
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dbdynsty25
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Umm...yeah...you should be getting flack from your friends. And it doesn't seem like a very smart thing to say on a public forum either. Sack it up, wrap it up, and drop hammer on that no good filthy slut.FloridaGators wrote:I'm single and 20 and trying to get college girls. I actually could have "banged" a girl Fletch style at a party the other night but didn't feel like using my first time on a slut, something I am getting a lot of flack for from my friends.
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FloridaGators
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Forum or not I just personally feel that anyone that has sex with a girl should know a good deal about them before having sex with them. Just seems like the right thing to do. You don't know what you could be getting into, with a random girl.dbdynsty25 wrote:Umm...yeah...you should be getting flack from your friends. And it doesn't seem like a very smart thing to say on a public forum either. Sack it up, wrap it up, and drop hammer on that no good filthy slut.FloridaGators wrote:I'm single and 20 and trying to get college girls. I actually could have "banged" a girl Fletch style at a party the other night but didn't feel like using my first time on a slut, something I am getting a lot of flack for from my friends.
I agree. Besides, virgin status can work greatly to a guy's advantage, at least through the mid-20s. (Not actually speaking from experience, I was an early adopter). And Gators is right, never know what you may get. Reminds me of a song:fsquid wrote:hey man, if its his first time, let him be picky. I was.
"Mother told me, yes she told me, there'd be girls like you
She also told me stay away, you'll never know what you'll catch."
wow.....it's nice to hear how many of you guys are happily married! I didn't say I wasn't happy also.....just a little confused. The funny thing is I couldn't imagine being without her, but there are times when I wonder if things could be better with someone else. It didnt help that we had a fight last night. That started all the "doubting" ideas flowing. Hopefully, eventually, I will get past those "unsure" feelings and settle into "happily ever after".