OT: Busted by the wife

fletcher21 · Post by **fletcher21** » Wed Jun 29, 2005 7:57 pm

lol... most of the girls i hook up with these days actually have MORE porn than me.. i don't own any, because to me it's pointless... if i want to get off i will just make a phone call, i don't need to watch a movie or look at pics... thats how real players do it, right DB?

281-330-8004 hit mike jones up on the low cuz mike jones about to blow

RallyMonkey · Post by **RallyMonkey** » Wed Jun 29, 2005 8:22 pm

This thread is like a fu**ing car wreck. I feel wrong for staring....but i can't look away.

I'm not sure i can be online with ANY of you now knowing what i know.

And this adds a hole new component to PK's awkward moaning the other night in Rivals.

War Porn!!!

RobVarak · Post by **RobVarak** » Wed Jun 29, 2005 9:23 pm

Porn? What is this "porn" your speak of? Sounds interesting.

BTW pk, you're right. That Vanessa Williams spread was the bomb-diggity!

JRod · Post by **JRod** » Wed Jun 29, 2005 9:42 pm

Have fun boys, NOT SUITABLE FOR WORK.

http://www.inmusic2000.de/POP_Queens/Ky ... iams04.jpg

(Edited by Jared to a link...please for the love of God DO NOT POST IMAGES OF NAKED WOMEN in the forums. I'm not even a big fan of leaving the link up as I don't want to set a precedent...but considering the "unique" nature of this post, I'm letting it slide.)

Teal · Post by **Teal** » Thu Jun 30, 2005 12:06 am

I debated about chiming in here, but I'd like to give my take on it, since it isn't represented. Know ahead of time, I don't expect you to agree with me, this is just my stand on the issue. I'm also NOT passing sentence on anyone...this is just the way I personally look at it.

Porn, for me, is cancerous for several reasons. When I was into it, it was always secretive. The wife simply could not understand, in the times when I got busted, how I could "do such a thing" to her. I didn't get what she meant by that; I wasn't doing anything "to" her. But over time, I've done a lot of listening to her and other women who have had their men involved in porn of some kind, and it's been a wake up call...

I don't like the stuff. It's been nothing but a wedge between me and my wife, and I know why now. She saw the images I was looking at from time to time, and what she saw, she couldn't compete with. Of course, in my heart I never expected her to compete with those women, but I do think it made sex with my wife a little underwhelming, because she didn't measure up to what I was seeing on my computer screen. This sounds harsh, but it's really what the stuff did to me.

Since getting away from it, our sex life has gotten better and better. We've been married for 11 years now, and I've tried to always be honest with her when I've been on the naughty hunt. She hates it, absolutely hates it...so I don't mess with it.

I've gotten to the point where all I want to look at is my wife, and I like that place. She feels more like the woman she's supposed to feel like, because I'm not splitting my time between her and Kinky Kandy.

Bottom line is that I refuse to let something as selfish as porn come between my wife and I. I don't think of it as a sacrifice at all. My wife is the only object of my sexual desire...

LAking · Post by **LAking** » Thu Jun 30, 2005 12:42 am

I have tried explaining that this is normal guy behavior, but I think she's having trouble either accepting or believing it.

If she is having trouble believing it you should let her read this thread.

You would look like a saint compared to the rest of us perves.

Honestly, i think it's just a matter of her realizing that you've always been an occasional porn viewer and that has NEVER changed the way you feel about her. And if she's having trouble understand how a male brain thinks, i highly recomend you take a listen to that radio show link i mentioned earlier. The part about the man who used to be a women, and how testosterone changed the way he/she thought, it's just interesting stuff. It makes the point that just because we men are horny f'ers and have all types of sexual thoughts running through our brains doesn't mean we are bad people or that we would ever cheat on our wives or girlfriends.

http://www.thislife.org/pages/descriptions/02/220.html

matthewk · Post by **matthewk** » Thu Jun 30, 2005 8:48 am

Spooky wrote:
sfz_T-car wrote:One more bit of advice. Don't show Mrs. K this thread.
Actually...maybe he should.

I've given it serious thought. The bulk of this discussion has been very good, and might actually help her understand the issue.

Oh, and of course right after I post, JRod has to go and try and get the thread locked. After that pic it's almost assured that this one will be locked up due to improper images.

Badgun · Post by **Badgun** » Thu Jun 30, 2005 8:54 am

matthewk wrote:
Spooky wrote:
sfz_T-car wrote:One more bit of advice. Don't show Mrs. K this thread.
Actually...maybe he should.
I've given it serious thought. The bulk of this discussion has been very good, and might actually help her understand the issue.

Oh, and of course right after I post, JRod has to go and try and get the thread locked. After that pic it's almost assured that this one will be locked up due to improper images.

Matthew, Exactly how did she catch you? Just curious.

pk500 · Post by **pk500** » Thu Jun 30, 2005 9:01 am

matthewk wrote:Oh, and of course right after I post, JRod has to go and try and get the thread locked. After that pic it's almost assured that this one will be locked up due to improper images.

Hey, at least he didn't post the one where Vanessa is getting her carpet steam-cleaned.

Take care,
PK

JackB1 · Post by **JackB1** » Thu Jun 30, 2005 9:47 am

James_E wrote: Yeah, that's it. It is a Cherry Sunburst. more pics at the link below. I will not attach the pickguard, I prefer the look without it.

nice! I put my baby in my avatar too! Mine is an Epiphone Les Paul Classic though......only cost me $400 from Musician's Friend. Very much like the real thing, but with a few cheaper parts (which can be replaced). I wish I could afford a real Gibson!

James_E · Post by **James_E** » Thu Jun 30, 2005 9:55 am

It's beautiful Jack.

Hopefully in a few months my chops will be good enough to make the LP shine! Was workin on some System of a Down (BYOB) last night... picking hand is not fast enough yet for the verses. Also working on some Tool and "Little Wing" by SRV (probably a 2 year project.)

Spooky · Post by **Spooky** » Thu Jun 30, 2005 10:19 am

pk500 wrote:
matthewk wrote:Oh, and of course right after I post, JRod has to go and try and get the thread locked. After that pic it's almost assured that this one will be locked up due to improper images.
Hey, at least he didn't post the one where Vanessa is getting her carpet steam-cleaned.

Take care,
PK

On second thought...perhaps you better not let your wife read this thread.

Airdog · Post by **Airdog** » Thu Jun 30, 2005 10:35 am

dbdynsty25 wrote:
James_E wrote:My wife takes good care of me.
No woman can take care of me...I'm still fairly young compared to the fogies in here though so that has something to do with it. Where's Javi, he can relate to me.

As another young(er) male here, I will co-sign to your statement.

Post by **ScoopBrady** » Thu Jun 30, 2005 10:48 am

Airdog wrote:
dbdynsty25 wrote:
James_E wrote:My wife takes good care of me.
No woman can take care of me...I'm still fairly young compared to the fogies in here though so that has something to do with it. Where's Javi, he can relate to me.
As another young(er) male here, I will co-sign to your statement.

Are you sure you guys aren't confusing ability with willingness?

matthewk · Post by **matthewk** » Thu Jun 30, 2005 11:04 am

Bad,

A few months ago she found out through IEs history log. After that, she has been "checking up" on me from time to time. I made it a few months without going anywhere, but eventually testosterone got the best of me again. This time she found a couple of clips (nothing freaky) d/l onto the hard drive. Oh, and I'm not a member of anything, so I didn't pay for any of it, if that makes a difference.

I never put much thought into covering my tracks, partially because I don't think it's evil, and part of me never thought she was PC savvy enough to notice anything like a link in the history. It wasn't a big deal. If I really wanted to do this on a regular basis, I know I could find ways to cover everything up...I work in IT after all.

I have read what people have said about giving it up. I hate sounding like I'm dependant on it, but when it's been around you all of your life, it's not easy to permanently swear off ever seeing any of it again. For one, it's everywhere in some form. My wife love Sex and the City, and in my eyes that's just a little side-step away from what I've looked at. We both watch Stern on E sometimes. How is that much different? I know it's not exactly the same, but they all lead in the same direction.

I must stress again that it's never anything "freaky", and I would NEVER cheat on my wife with ANYONE. That is a line that I will not cross, and franky do not want to even approach.

James_E · Post by **James_E** » Thu Jun 30, 2005 11:23 am

Tools -> Internet Options -> Clear History

Matt, I hope you have a good talk with your wife and get this sorted out in a way that you can both live with. Good luck!

pk500 · Post by **pk500** » Thu Jun 30, 2005 11:39 am

CrapCleaner works really well, too. I think it was Scoop who turned me on to it.

http://www.ccleaner.com/

Take care,
PK

dbdynsty25 · Post by **dbdynsty25** » Thu Jun 30, 2005 11:46 am

Your best friend is Mozilla. Just install that one too and use it for the Porn and use IE for the regular stuff. Then just use the executeable from the start menu so she doesn't get curious and launch it. It's harder to find the history in it, especially for the non-computer savvy types.

Plus, get her her own computer...that's the best way...I take all of the necessary percautions.

Sport73 · Post by **Sport73** » Thu Jun 30, 2005 12:24 pm

Or, get a Mac.

Safari has a PRIVATE BROWSING functions which stores no cache, history, passwords etc.

And you can setup multiple user accounts with Fast User Switching (not unlike Windows XP accounts) so that you can turn 1 computer into 2.

SORRY, had to be said. It's a medical condition and reflex reaction from a Mac-head. I'll go back to burying my nose inside the bust of Steve Job's ass I have in my office; pardon the interruption...

10spro · Post by **10spro** » Thu Jun 30, 2005 3:06 pm

I had a buddy that was caught chit-chatting away with a virtual female. He got kicked out of the house, although slowly he's he's being allowed back in. Woman will never understand what porn does to a guy, why we look at it, etc. It can run within the relationship in itself, not enouh sex, too boring, whatever. But what he did, was to promise his wife to look for some cousenling help, which woman generally like. I know it means nothing for most guys, but when you mention "professional help", it could be a new beginning in your relantionship.

Badgun · Post by **Badgun** » Thu Jun 30, 2005 3:31 pm

matthewk wrote:Bad,

A few months ago she found out through IEs history log. After that, she has been "checking up" on me from time to time. I made it a few months without going anywhere, but eventually testosterone got the best of me again. This time she found a couple of clips (nothing freaky) d/l onto the hard drive. Oh, and I'm not a member of anything, so I didn't pay for any of it, if that makes a difference.

I never put much thought into covering my tracks, partially because I don't think it's evil, and part of me never thought she was PC savvy enough to notice anything like a link in the history. It wasn't a big deal. If I really wanted to do this on a regular basis, I know I could find ways to cover everything up...I work in IT after all.

I have read what people have said about giving it up. I hate sounding like I'm dependant on it, but when it's been around you all of your life, it's not easy to permanently swear off ever seeing any of it again. For one, it's everywhere in some form. My wife love Sex and the City, and in my eyes that's just a little side-step away from what I've looked at. We both watch Stern on E sometimes. How is that much different? I know it's not exactly the same, but they all lead in the same direction.

I must stress again that it's never anything "freaky", and I would NEVER cheat on my wife with ANYONE. That is a line that I will not cross, and franky do not want to even approach.

Wow, a chick checking IE history. That's scary. Where did she get the idea? I know there was a show on recently where this guy was showing how women could check up on their husbands through history, deleted e-mail, etc...wonder if your wife caught that show.

Now with me, here's where it would get a little freaky. How do you feel about your wife "checking up" on you? This would piss me off to no end. This would be like telling your wife that you were going to Wal Mart and then when you're coming out of the store you catch her ride by checking to see if that's where you really are. Sounds like this is an issue of trust and she obviously doesn't trust your internet browsing very much. Maybe the discussion that really needs to be had is about trust and you should reassure her that looking at pictures on the net is in no way a replacement for her nor is it any reason for her not to trust you. I would also discuss her detective work with her and ask her not to do it again as there is no reason for her not to trust you. I'm trying to be nice here, but if my wife snooped in my IE history, I would go through the roof. But that's me. Good luck!

pk500 · Post by **pk500** » Thu Jun 30, 2005 3:42 pm

I've got to side with Bad on this one. My wife checking my IE or Firefox history is a bit too "Big Brother" for me.

Trust has to be vital part of the marital equation, and checking Web browser histories crosses that boundary of trust, in my opinion. I don't check on my wife's tracks because I trust her implicitly, and she doesn't check mine because she trusts me implicitly. I'm lucky, though, that I have nothing to hide from her. She knows my vices and has no problem with them because they're all pretty damn tame and low-cost by her standards. Same goes with my interpretation of her vices.

Sure, we keep a running total of discretionary purchases, but not so much for WHAT we bought as for HOW MUCH it cost so we can keep our budget under control. But this is different. This is a morality check, bordering on snooping or spying.

I don't think I'd go through the roof like Bad, but I'd sure as hell want to know why she didn't trust me. If she has trust issues, then she should confront me with them, knowing full well that I would tell her the pure, unvarnished truth. I'd expect and am certain I would get the same in return.

Hope you can get this sorted smoothly, MattK.

Take care,
PK

James_E · Post by **James_E** » Thu Jun 30, 2005 3:53 pm

Keep in mind that it doesn't require snooping really.

If matt visited www.milfhunter.com, and then she wanted to go visit www.milk.com, when she typed in "www.mil" the IE autocomplete would have kicked in and www.milfhunter.com would be right in her face.

OR imagine Matt went to www.best-titties.com. then she wants to surf to www.bestbuy.com, same thing happens. best-titties.com shows up in autocomplete.

I hope that's what it was! I agree that IE history checking is over the edge... trust issues if that is the case.

Post by **ScoopBrady** » Thu Jun 30, 2005 3:55 pm

Did she actually look at the history or was she typing a website in the address bar and notice after typing www.b that www.bangbus was in there? There's a big difference there.

pk500 · Post by **pk500** » Thu Jun 30, 2005 4:05 pm

ScoopBrady wrote:Did she actually look at the history or was she typing a website in the address bar and notice after typing www.b that www.bangbus was in there? There's a big difference there.

Lord, I'm agreeing too much with you cats today.

Scoop, I agree. If it was Autocomplete, that's one thing. If it was snooping on the History file, that's over the line.

Take care,
PK