Rams 10, Texans 3
St. Louis notched its second victory against a human opponent while Houston remains winless against carbon-based owners as the Rams downed the Texans 10-3.
Houston moved the ball effectively on their first drive, but facing fourth and one from the Rams 10, the Texans elected to kick the field goal. Both defenses kept the opposing offenses in check for the rest of the half, until the St. Louis offense finally got moving late in the second quarter, setting up a 41-yard field goal that made the game 3-3 at halftime.
The Texans received some bad news at halftime, learning that quarterback Matt Schaub, who had been knocked out of the game in the second quarter, would be unable to return. "I think God hates us," Coach Brando said when receiving the news. Backup Rex Grossman was erratic in relief of Schaub, having trouble finding open receivers against the Rams defense and overthrowing them when they did get open. He finished 6-of-15 for 65 yards.
The Rams pounced on the opportunity by engineering a 14-play, 77-yard drive that lasted seven-and-a-half minutes. While the Texans stuffed the Rams running game, quarterback Marc Bulger lit a spark under the offense, picking apart the Houston zone coverage. The drive ended when Bulger fired a perfect pass to receiver Ronald Curry for a six-yard score and a 10-7 lead.
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Bulger would finish an efficient 16 of 23 for 199 yards and the one score.
With four minutes left, Grossman and running back Steve Slaton did move the ball into Rams territory. The Rams defense held, however, and Grossman had four straight incompletions to turn the ball over on downs with 59 seconds left.
The Rams needed a first down to put the game away, but Coach XXXIV, miked for the game, said he knew they would turn the ball over. His fears appeared alleviated when Steven Jackson broke a 12-yard run on third-and-four. Texans cornerback Fred Bennett kept the game alive, though, when he managed to strip the ball from Jackson, allowing defensive tackle Shaun Cody to scoop the ball up and give the Texans another chance.
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Steven Jackson fulfills Coach XXXIV's self-fulfilling prophecy of turning the ball over. On the sidelines, the two had to be separated when Coach XXXIV screamed at Jackson, "I told you to cover up the (expletive) ball, you (expletive)!"
Grossman hit a pair of passes and got the Texans to the Rams 30 with six seconds left. He aired out a final pass to Andre Johnson in the endzone, but the Rams secondary broke it up, preserving the win and clinching the NFC West.
The Rams will fine-tune for the playoffs with games against the CPU Cardinals and 49ers, while the Texans face the Miami Dolphins and the New England Patriots before heading into the comforting arms of the offseason.