OT: I Have A Problem and Need Help

[grtwhtsk]

Guys, I am finally going to admit to myself, and to you, that I have a serious problem. I am addicted to video gaming. I just don't know how to stop. I obsess most of the day about what I have, what I want, what I'm not sure I want, etc.

I am on my third Xbox. I have owned at least 2 PS2s. I recently traded in my last one to put towards the purchase of a PSP (which I had to have due to this addiction). After discovering some clusters of dead pixels, I returned it for a refund. I then regretted that after seeing commercials for it, and so I bought another one. I now question whether I should get rid of it.

I bought another PS2 the other day because I missed playing God Of War, and thought of others I may want to play. As I didn't open it, I was able to return it yesterday for a full refund. I returned it because I once again questioned my own judgment. I am now questioning the return, and think I should have kept it.

The same is true with games. I buy games, play some, do a lot of trade ins. I don't open some, return them for the next "hot" game, and may not open that.

I am just losing it guys. I don't know what to do. I do enjoy playing games. I love sports games. I love racing games. I also can at times get into an FPS.

Please help me guys. I just don't know what to do. Oh, and not related to this, my wife is divorcing me (and moving back to OH with 2 of my kids).

Steve
grtwhtsk

[dbdynsty25]

Start using Gamefly...that's what I did. Now I don't go and buy the next new game each time it comes out. I will buy the next football/baseball/basketball games and rent the rest. It's pretty simple, and it saves a lot of money. Keep your consoles though...that way you always have the system available for you to play the games on.

And I'm sorry about your marraige bro...good luck with everything.

[MizzouRah]

I think most of us here are in the same boat - the wife leaving (that sucks and I wish you the best).

I broke down and bought the psp and now I'm scouring the internet sites looking for accessories like a little psp geek.

In fact I'm so into my psp that I put my Xbox on ebay so I could help pay off my $400 best buy bill. I honestly don't see myself playing my Xbox for quite some time... so long that when I want to, the 360 will be out.

Damn, I love this little thing, it's like the son I never had.

I'm sure I'll miss games like NCAA 2k6, but at least MVP and Madden will be on the psp, along with GTA. Plus, I'm going to get a movie or two this weekend.


Todd

[sportdan30]

Start using Gamefly...that's what I did. Now I don't go and buy the next new game each time it comes out. I will buy the next football/baseball/basketball games and rent the rest. It's pretty simple, and it saves a lot of money. Keep your consoles though...that way you always have the system available for you to play the games on.

And I'm sorry about your marraige bro...good luck with everything.

Scott, you getting paid by Gamefly to pimp their site? LOL. Just kidding.

Well Grt,

First of all, I'm truly sorry to hear about your marriage. More than that though, I can't imagine the devastation you're going through with your children. I'm not up to date on divorce laws, but I thought I once heard a spouse with children can't leave the state without permission from the other parent.

In any case, on to your addiction. We all have hobbies and it seems more times than not these hobbies can turn in to addictions. I think we're all somewhat addicted to video games but maybe not to the extreme you are. The problem with video games is the mass advertising. Not the advertising through commercials or the media, but through our own fellow gamers. It makes it very difficult to pass on a game after you continuously read reviews and other related posts. Whether it's fortunate or unfortunate, there are just a ridiculous amounts of quality games out there. For me, I'll never even play 90% of them just because of the time factor.

In your case, you need to ATTEMPT less impulse buying and remind yourself to keep a level head. I realize it's more difficult for you because you enjoy all different genre of games. I made a pledge to myself last year that from here on out, I'll only buy sports games for the Xbox. I've kept to that pledge thus far. As Db mentioned and pimped, renting games through Gamefly or BB is a better avenue to take. More times than not, you'll bore of a game after a couple weeks of playing. Games like GoW are different. They are few and far between and you just need to differentiate between the good and the great games. Try and only purchase the "great" games. Rent the "good" games.

Everything in moderation. Good luck!

[Inuyasha]

best advice i would probably give you is stop selling and rebuying systems. Just hold onto the systems even if you're not going to be playing them for a long period of time.

[Brando70]

Steve, sorry to hear about your marriage. That really sucks, I wish you the best in getting through your divorce.

I think all of us have had some level of gaming addiction. I recently decided to more of less stop playing during the work week. I was coming home from work or the gym, spending an hour with my wife, and then playing games for 2-3 hours. That's just unbalanced and while it didn't seriously bother my wife, she wasn't real happy about it either. Plus I really wanted to start reading more and I was instead spending that time with a controller in my hand.

So my first recommendation: spend a week not playing any games. Not a single one. Take your games and keep them at work, give them to a friend, whatever you need to do. Spend the week doing something else for entertainment. It will be very difficult, but I've found that after a couple days, I wind up doing other things I really enjoy.

After a week, try gaming again with some reasonable ground rules. Maybe an hour a night? Weekends only? Whatever works. If you stick to those rules, then I'd say you're just someone caught up in the excitement of games. But if you can't adhere to them...well, then I don't know if advice from a message board will help. You may want to look for some more professional guidance. You don't want your fun hobby to turn into an obsession.

Good luck.

[Inuyasha]

So my first recommendation: spend a week not playing any games. Not a single one. Take your games and keep them at work, give them to a friend, whatever you need to do. Spend the week doing something else for entertainment. It will be very difficult, but I've found that after a couple days, I wind up doing other things I really enjoy.



Good luck.

Threadjack

I know more and more people doing this, even myself. If it wasn't for MVP, I would not have played any videogame for the last 2 months. And I am good with that. There seems to be more things to do now outside of gaming for everyone I know or know about.

That's why I dont know if these big exclusive deals for 5-10 years is good for these companies. The gaming industry is riding such a big high, that eventually it's got to come down. If say even a quarter of the sales is lost in the next 5 years, those exclusive million dollar deals are going to surely hurt the finances of these companies.

[pk500]

Steve:

Sorry about your marriage.

All of the advice here is very sound. I also suggest that you find other hobbies to supplement gaming. Reading. Working out. Volunteering. Something, especially something fulfilling mentally or physically that makes you feel like you're doing something more beneficial than gaming, which really is nothing but a fun way to waste time.

Try to go one day without playing. Then try again the next day. And the next day. And the next day. One day at a time.

I think your challenge only will increase after your wife and children leave, which really sucks, by the way. You'll be alone, and you'll lean toward gaming even more.

If you can get gaming under control now, you'll be home free. I game less than I used to, although releases like Close Combat and Forza put me on binges. But when you don't have the urge to game or there are no new releases that REALLY interest you, then don't game or buy.

It's about quality, not quantity, both in terms of games owned and time played. I don't game that much offline anymore other than games here and there of Winning Eleven 8, which has cut down on my overall gaming time, simply because the camaraderie of XBL is what makes gaming fun for me now. Without XBL, I would have sold my Xbox six months ago.

Best of luck. It's not easy, because we all do have some sort of gaming addiction in here.

Take care,
PK

[Spooky]

Sorry to hear about your marital problems Shark.

I have very similar gaming habits as you, but to a little lesser degree. I barely hold on to a game for longer than a couple weeks on average. I have traded in and re-bought both a PS2 and a Gamecube. I don't think it is that crazy though. I consider it like a loan of that system with a bit of interest. I get $$$ for it right away, and then buy it again later when they are cheaper. And as for the game trading, I figure it almost evens out to a rental or to gamefly fees if I trade them in while the value is still high. Plus I have been very friendly with my local game retailers for years and it has some perks where they hook me up with some added discounts or credit when they can (before I started actually working at EB part time).

I am lucky too, my girlfriend really enjoys watching most of the games I play, and does not mind me playing at all when she heads to bed. Hell, I play most of my games lying in bed right next to her. Full surround sound and all. She watches for a bit and then falls asleep and sleeps right through it.

What really worked out to my advantage was when my girlfriend and I decided I should look for a part time gig for some extra cash. Just more or less some 'funny money' for every month so we could put more away in savings. In thinking I was probably gonna work at like a Home Depot or a Borders or something, I figured, sh*t, I might as well see if my buds at EB were looking for part time work around the holidays. They were and it has been such an easy gig that I have decided to stay on part time (about 8-12 hours a week). So I essentially killed two birds with one stone that way. My girlfriend is happy and proud that I took on a part time job to help our savings, and I get the benefits of working at a game store (discounts, very relaxed exchange policy, try out games in store, ect…). Not a bad deal for me at this point. Hell, our store is so damn slow most of the time (especially on weeknights) that I usually get in all my gaming while at work there. 2-3 hours of PSP or playing something new on the demo TV there provides my fill. Unless, of course, I get an invite to play some Splinter Cell once I get home.

[grtwhtsk]

Start using Gamefly...that's what I did. Now I don't go and buy the next new game each time it comes out. I will buy the next football/baseball/basketball games and rent the rest. It's pretty simple, and it saves a lot of money. Keep your consoles though...that way you always have the system available for you to play the games on.

And I'm sorry about your marraige bro...good luck with everything.

Scott, thanks for the reply. Do you think I should grab back that PS2 I returned? I did buy it to play God Of War again, and some other titles might make for good rentals.

What are the terms for Gamefly?

[grtwhtsk]

I think most of us here are in the same boat - the wife leaving (that sucks and I wish you the best).

Todd

Thanks Todd. The toughest stuff is still ahead.

[grtwhtsk]

Start using Gamefly...that's what I did. Now I don't go and buy the next new game each time it comes out. I will buy the next football/baseball/basketball games and rent the rest. It's pretty simple, and it saves a lot of money. Keep your consoles though...that way you always have the system available for you to play the games on.

And I'm sorry about your marraige bro...good luck with everything.

Scott, you getting paid by Gamefly to pimp their site? LOL. Just kidding.

Well Grt,

First of all, I'm truly sorry to hear about your marriage. More than that though, I can't imagine the devastation you're going through with your children. I'm not up to date on divorce laws, but I thought I once heard a spouse with children can't leave the state without permission from the other parent.

In any case, on to your addiction. We all have hobbies and it seems more times than not these hobbies can turn in to addictions. I think we're all somewhat addicted to video games but maybe not to the extreme you are. The problem with video games is the mass advertising. Not the advertising through commercials or the media, but through our own fellow gamers. It makes it very difficult to pass on a game after you continuously read reviews and other related posts. Whether it's fortunate or unfortunate, there are just a ridiculous amounts of quality games out there. For me, I'll never even play 90% of them just because of the time factor.

In your case, you need to ATTEMPT less impulse buying and remind yourself to keep a level head. I realize it's more difficult for you because you enjoy all different genre of games. I made a pledge to myself last year that from here on out, I'll only buy sports games for the Xbox. I've kept to that pledge thus far. As Db mentioned and pimped, renting games through Gamefly or BB is a better avenue to take. More times than not, you'll bore of a game after a couple weeks of playing. Games like GoW are different. They are few and far between and you just need to differentiate between the good and the great games. Try and only purchase the "great" games. Rent the "good" games.

Everything in moderation. Good luck!

Thanks Dan. You're so right. I do get caught up with the stuff on the message boards, and the reviews (and previews).

As for the marriage, yes I believe there has to be permission from me or/and a court. I will not stop her. I am so burned out guys. I can't take this anymore. I really wish I had someone to talk to. My friends don't have the time of day for me, therapists give me the same answers, and my family tells me I'm a failure. I wish I had someone to call and talk to. I don't want psychobabble or anything, just a good friend. It seems hard to find these days at age 37.

[grtwhtsk]

best advice i would probably give you is stop selling and rebuying systems. Just hold onto the systems even if you're not going to be playing them for a long period of time.

You know anyone that may want to buy my PSP? I don't know what the going rate is, but maybe one less system would do me good. I wouldn't use it for anything besides games. If anyone is interested, let me know. Maybe we can work something out.

[grtwhtsk]

Steve, sorry to hear about your marriage. That really sucks, I wish you the best in getting through your divorce.

I think all of us have had some level of gaming addiction. I recently decided to more of less stop playing during the work week. I was coming home from work or the gym, spending an hour with my wife, and then playing games for 2-3 hours. That's just unbalanced and while it didn't seriously bother my wife, she wasn't real happy about it either. Plus I really wanted to start reading more and I was instead spending that time with a controller in my hand.

So my first recommendation: spend a week not playing any games. Not a single one. Take your games and keep them at work, give them to a friend, whatever you need to do. Spend the week doing something else for entertainment. It will be very difficult, but I've found that after a couple days, I wind up doing other things I really enjoy.

After a week, try gaming again with some reasonable ground rules. Maybe an hour a night? Weekends only? Whatever works. If you stick to those rules, then I'd say you're just someone caught up in the excitement of games. But if you can't adhere to them...well, then I don't know if advice from a message board will help. You may want to look for some more professional guidance. You don't want your fun hobby to turn into an obsession.

Good luck.

Thanks Brando. I've tried that before. I am obsessed. I hate this feeling.

[dbdynsty25]

Scott, thanks for the reply. Do you think I should grab back that PS2 I returned? I did buy it to play God Of War again, and some other titles might make for good rentals.

What are the terms for Gamefly?

Nah...skip the PS2 and keep the PSP. Gamefly is like 21 or 22 bucks a month and you can have 2 games out at a time. I've went through about 20 games in a month just so I could try out some of the past games I never did get around to buying. It has been outstanding.

[grtwhtsk]

Steve:

Sorry about your marriage.

All of the advice here is very sound. I also suggest that you find other hobbies to supplement gaming. Reading. Working out. Volunteering. Something, especially something fulfilling mentally or physically that makes you feel like you're doing something more beneficial than gaming, which really is nothing but a fun way to waste time.

Try to go one day without playing. Then try again the next day. And the next day. And the next day. One day at a time.

I think your challenge only will increase after your wife and children leave, which really sucks, by the way. You'll be alone, and you'll lean toward gaming even more.

If you can get gaming under control now, you'll be home free. I game less than I used to, although releases like Close Combat and Forza put me on binges. But when you don't have the urge to game or there are no new releases that REALLY interest you, then don't game or buy.

It's about quality, not quantity, both in terms of games owned and time played. I don't game that much offline anymore other than games here and there of Winning Eleven 8, which has cut down on my overall gaming time, simply because the camaraderie of XBL is what makes gaming fun for me now. Without XBL, I would have sold my Xbox six months ago.

Best of luck. It's not easy, because we all do have some sort of gaming addiction in here.

Take care,
PK

Paul,

Thanks my friend. I really just don't know anymore. I've tried it all.

I should go back to reading and working out. I love both of those.

Steve

[grtwhtsk]

Sorry to hear about your marital problems Shark.

I have very similar gaming habits as you, but to a little lesser degree. I barely hold on to a game for longer than a couple weeks on average. I have traded in and re-bought both a PS2 and a Gamecube. I don't think it is that crazy though. I consider it like a loan of that system with a bit of interest. I get $$$ for it right away, and then buy it again later when they are cheaper. And as for the game trading, I figure it almost evens out to a rental or to gamefly fees if I trade them in while the value is still high. Plus I have been very friendly with my local game retailers for years and it has some perks where they hook me up with some added discounts or credit when they can (before I started actually working at EB part time).

I am lucky too, my girlfriend really enjoys watching most of the games I play, and does not mind me playing at all when she heads to bed. Hell, I play most of my games lying in bed right next to her. Full surround sound and all. She watches for a bit and then falls asleep and sleeps right through it.

What really worked out to my advantage was when my girlfriend and I decided I should look for a part time gig for some extra cash. Just more or less some 'funny money' for every month so we could put more away in savings. In thinking I was probably gonna work at like a Home Depot or a Borders or something, I figured, sh*t, I might as well see if my buds at EB were looking for part time work around the holidays. They were and it has been such an easy gig that I have decided to stay on part time (about 8-12 hours a week). So I essentially killed two birds with one stone that way. My girlfriend is happy and proud that I took on a part time job to help our savings, and I get the benefits of working at a game store (discounts, very relaxed exchange policy, try out games in store, ect…). Not a bad deal for me at this point. Hell, our store is so damn slow most of the time (especially on weeknights) that I usually get in all my gaming while at work there. 2-3 hours of PSP or playing something new on the demo TV there provides my fill. Unless, of course, I get an invite to play some Splinter Cell once I get home.

Thanks Spooky. I wish I could get some P-T work at my local Gamestop. It's all we have in town. It would help to be able to check out games over night and such.

[grtwhtsk]

Scott, thanks for the reply. Do you think I should grab back that PS2 I returned? I did buy it to play God Of War again, and some other titles might make for good rentals.

What are the terms for Gamefly?

Nah...skip the PS2 and keep the PSP. Gamefly is like 21 or 22 bucks a month and you can have 2 games out at a time. I've went through about 20 games in a month just so I could try out some of the past games I never did get around to buying. It has been outstanding.

I will probably wait a few days before looking into it. I need to stop doing things impulsively. Thanks again for the help.

[pk500]

Steve:

Selling the PSP is a good idea. So is not buying that PS2 again. Forget God of War. Forget any of those games. You're trying to eliminate an addiction to gaming, so buying another system isn't going to help.

Stick to one system and one game, and one game only, in each genre you like. That's a starting point.

Of course, I'm partial to the Xbox. But there is some merit to the Xbox for a guy in your situation, too, if you have broadband: Xbox Live. There's a thriving community of DSPers who play regularly on XBL, and we're here for you. A couple of hours here and there playing with us cats is great stress relief and always good for many laughs, and if it takes you away from your troubles for a bit, then that's all good.

Best of luck, man.

Take care,
PK

[grtwhtsk]

Steve:

Selling the PSP is a good idea. So is not buying that PS2 again. Forget God of War. Forget any of those games. You're trying to eliminate an addiction to gaming, so buying another system isn't going to help.

Stick to one system and one game, and one game only, in each genre you like. That's a starting point.

Of course, I'm partial to the Xbox. But there is some merit to the Xbox for a guy in your situation, too, if you have broadband: Xbox Live. There's a thriving community of DSPers who play regularly on XBL, and we're here for you. A couple of hours here and there playing with us cats is great stress relief and always good for many laughs, and if it takes you away from your troubles for a bit, then that's all good.

Best of luck, man.

Take care,
PK

PK,

Do you know anyone who wants to buy a PSP? If so, point them my way please. It is in mint condition. All the stuff with original packaging, Spiderman 2 movie, etc. I don't know what a fair price is. I paid $250 plus tax for it.

I do have Xbox live. I am grtwhtsk1. I am never on as the wife objects. I guess that won't be a problem for too much longer.

Thanks again.

Steve

[pk500]

Steve:

I don't know anyone who wants a PSP. Sorry.

Hang on to XBL. I think it will prove to be a good, fun outlet for you the next few months, and it's cheaper than therapy!

Hang in there.

Take care,
PK

[bdoughty]

I would sell everything BUT the PSP, get a gamefly account and simply wait for the next generation systems - stop purchasing games until you get your problems under control. Focus on the bigger things in life, learn to work on your compulsive habbits. The PSP will get you by the hard times always having a system when you have the craving.

Been down your path and I know how you feel.

[grtwhtsk]

I would sell everything BUT the PSP, get a gamefly account and simply wait for the next generation systems - stop purchasing games until you get your problems under control. Focus on the bigger things in life, learn to work on your compulsive habbits. The PSP will get you by the hard times always having a system when you have the craving.


Been down your path and I know how you feel.

Brent, thanks for the advice.

I don't know what I will do, but I really appreciate the help you guys have given me. Please keep the suggestions coming.

[pk500]

Good advice from Brent. I guess my only quibble about keeping the PSP is the portable nature of it. Not a great thing for a guy who is trying to wean himself from gaming.

A videogame addict owning a PSP is almost like a crack addict having clean needles in every room of his house. The PSP makes gaming even easier and more convenient. You can do it anywhere, and it's harder to put down. It also still has a ton of "gee whiz" appeal to it. It's hot; it's new; you just dropped some serious coin on it, so you think you need to play it.

But the Gamefly idea is a really good one, whatever system you keep. And definitely trim your gaming to one system and one system only. Not one handheld and one console. One system period.

Also, one game per genre. If you like baseball, get one game. Not MLB, MVP and ASB. If you like football, get one game. Not NCAA and Madden.

Again, good luck.

Take care,
PK

[grtwhtsk]

Good advice from Brent. I guess my only quibble about keeping the PSP is the portable nature of it. Not a great thing for a guy who is trying to wean himself from gaming.

A videogame addict owning a PSP is almost like a crack addict having clean needles in every room of his house. The PSP makes gaming even easier and more convenient. You can do it anywhere, and it's harder to put down. It also still has a ton of "gee whiz" appeal to it. It's hot; it's new; you just dropped some serious coin on it, so you think you need to play it.

But the Gamefly idea is a really good one, whatever system you keep. And definitely trim your gaming to one system and one system only. Not one handheld and one console. One system period.

Again, good luck.

Take care,
PK

A console is probably my best way to go.

Now I'm obsessing about how and for how much to sell my PSP. Can anybody help me? If so, please PM me. If you don't mind, I can call someone or someone can call me. I trust you guys and would share my phone number through a PM. Any help would really be appreciated. I'm just at my wits end.