OT: Worst song ever...

BBReBozo · Post by **BBReBozo** » Wed Apr 21, 2004 9:41 pm

My best friend in high school had one of the funniest lines I've ever heard regarding Scorpions rhythm guitarist Rudolf Schencker and his goofy smile:

"The guy looks like a social studies teacher."

From that moment on, I never took the Scorpions seriously again.

laurenskye · Post by **laurenskye** » Wed Apr 21, 2004 9:42 pm

You guys aren't even close. Just look to the 70's.

Run Joey run (daddy please don't, it wasn't his fault, he means so much to me).

The night Chicago died

"One tin soldier rides away"

seasons in the sun.

Maybe not credible bands but give me a screwdriver through the frontal lobe before playing one of those.

pk500 · Post by **pk500** » Thu Apr 22, 2004 2:19 am

LSkye:

Don't forget the immortal "Billy Don't Be A Hero" by the legendary Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods.

Take care,
PK

DChaps · Post by **DChaps** » Thu Apr 22, 2004 2:58 am

Brando70 wrote:Warrant, "Cherry Pie" -- the double-down of also having one of the worst videos ever made. It was as subtle as getting slapped in the face with John Holmes's schlong.

And, maybe because I listened to so much bad metal, I'd have to say Scorpions "Winds of Change." The whistling, the German accent, the banal lyrics, the horror, the horror.

Damn Brando, we are in the same boat there. Why I would admit to this here I have no idea, but I think I saw both Warrant and the Scorpions live a few times each. Ouch... Good call on both those songs. Absolutely horrible considering they both got a good bit of airplay back in the day.

pk500 wrote:I'll raise the ante: Any song by The Scorpions sucked. Germans do commercial pop metal about as well as they do fashion -- not well.

Come on pk, are you trying to tell me that the sweet sounds of Udo Dirkschneider of Accept singing the words to their classic "Balls to the Wall" doesn't bring a tear to your eye?

sf_z wrote:Speaking of Yes, I'm reminded of JD Considine's classic review of Yes guitarist Steve Howe's side-project GTR. The review in its entirety was "SHT"

That was a classic review and I assumed at the time it was homage to the review of Spinal Tap's "Shark Sandwich". Speaking further of Yes, how about anything from the time period where the Buggles replaced Jon Anderson and Rick Wakeman?

PS - Kinda off topic, but has anyone noticed the Rainbow/Dio "Man On The Silver Mountain" Coors commercial that has been running recently?

seanmac · Post by **seanmac** » Thu Apr 22, 2004 4:09 am

I can't believe Debarge was unable to crack the top five with Rhythm of the Night.

matthewk · Post by **matthewk** » Thu Apr 22, 2004 11:49 am

So many points to reply to.....

- Warrant and Cherry Pie. Yes, the song is simple and obvious, and the video even moreso. But come on, just about every mainstream Rap song and video are even worse. They usually sample the music from someone else's song, and the videos need to be censored for constant curses, and T&A.

Has anyone here ever heard ANY of Warrants albums since Cherry Pie? Their next two never made it very far due to the grunge infestation, but those are much better than the first two, and show a great deal of maturity, while still being fun. Go seek out Stronger Now and tell me they don't have talent.

- The Scorpions were a great band before LAFS.

- I cannot believe they included the Sound of Silence. Sure the lyrics are strange, but it's a great song. I think it was included for shock value. Add a classic song in there that a lot of people like and the list with get more attention.

pk500 · Post by **pk500** » Thu Apr 22, 2004 12:01 pm

Matt:

Yeah, "Sounds of Silence" definitely made me scratch my head. And "Ob-li-di" by The Beatles? Goofy song, no doubt. But bad? Uh, no.

But unlike others, "We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel was worthy of the list.

Joel is a great singer-songwriter, but that song was not his finest hour. Dopey song, overly produced and over-commercial music. Could be used for a jingle for a fire extinguisher company.

At least Joel, The Beatles and Simon & Garfunkel can take heart that one of their songs probably would appear on a list of top 50 songs of all time, too.

Was "Ebony and Ivory" by Jacko (Jackson) and Mac (McCartney) on the list? What a truly dreadful song that was a marketer's wet dream and a music fan's nightmare.

Take care,
PK

Brando70 · Post by **Brando70** » Thu Apr 22, 2004 12:40 pm

matthewk wrote:So many points to reply to.....

- Warrant and Cherry Pie. Yes, the song is simple and obvious, and the video even moreso. But come on, just about every mainstream Rap song and video are even worse. They usually sample the music from someone else's song, and the videos need to be censored for constant curses, and T&A.

Has anyone here ever heard ANY of Warrants albums since Cherry Pie? Their next two never made it very far due to the grunge infestation, but those are much better than the first two, and show a great deal of maturity, while still being fun. Go seek out Stronger Now and tell me they don't have talent.

- The Scorpions were a great band before LAFS.

- I cannot believe they included the Sound of Silence. Sure the lyrics are strange, but it's a great song. I think it was included for shock value. Add a classic song in there that a lot of people like and the list with get more attention.

Seeing as I couldn't get past the first two Warrant albums without throwing up in my mouth, no. My roomates in college and I had a long-standing joke about "Where the Down Boys Go," especially the gay "Go" they yelp and the off-the-gay-richter-scale video where they are all on their knees, banging their heads. They look like extras from the rest stop scene in "There's Something About Mary."

I certainly rocked out with the Scorps, but their music today has the staying power of Klaus Meine's hairline. I still enjoy some metal from my head-banging hey day, but Germany's finest didn't make the cut.

I saw PK giving some bad-props to R.E.O. I played Hi-Infidelity to death when I was 11. Then I turned 12 and wised up. But they have become my kareokee band of choice -- you can't believe how you can hold a room in the palm of your hand when you start singing "Heard it from a friend who..."

Brando70 · Post by **Brando70** » Thu Apr 22, 2004 12:47 pm

pk500 wrote: Was "Ebony and Ivory" by Jacko (Jackson) and Mac (McCartney) on the list? What a truly dreadful song that was a marketer's wet dream and a music fan's nightmare.

You mean Stevie Wonder, PK, Jackco was on "Say Say Say," another howler.

However, "Ebony and Ivory" gave us one of the great all-time Saturday Night Live skits, Joe Piscipo as Sinatra and Eddie Murphy as Stevie Wonder:

Stevie: "I am dark and you are light."
Sinatra: "You blind as a bat, and I have sight / Side by side my amigo / Negro, let's not fight!"

Transcript here.

pk500 · Post by **pk500** » Thu Apr 22, 2004 12:52 pm

Brando:

Right you are!

Take care,
PK

kevinpars · Post by **kevinpars** » Thu Apr 22, 2004 1:17 pm

pk500 wrote:William Shatner's renditions of "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" and "Mr. Tambourine Man" are the most hideous songs I've ever heard.

And yes, they do exist. I have them on my MP3 player. So bad they're really, really funny even though the Surgeon General has issued a warning that listening to them can cause hearing loss and brain damage.

Take care,
PK

His version of Elton John's 'Rocket Man' is spot-on!

kevinpars · Post by **kevinpars** » Thu Apr 22, 2004 1:21 pm

Here's a classic:

Love is like oxygen
You get too much you get too high
Not enough and you're gonna die
Love gets you high

Time on my side
I got it all
I've heard that pride
Always comes before a fall
There's a rumour goin round the town
That you don't want me around
I can't shake off my city blues
Every way I turn I lose

Love is like oxygen
You get too much you get too high
Not enough and you're gonna die
Love gets you high

Time is no healer
If you're not there
Lonely fever
Sad words in the air

Some things are better left unsaid
I'm gonna spend my days in bed
I'll walk the streets at night
To be hidden by the city lights, city lights

laurenskye · Post by **laurenskye** » Thu Apr 22, 2004 10:50 pm

No Way, Sweet Rocks!

Brando70 · Post by **Brando70** » Fri Apr 23, 2004 2:22 am

Actually, today I heard one of the scariest phrases in all of music:

"...Eastern Iowa's 80s metal cover band..."

[shudders at the thought of cover version of "Smooth Up In Ya"]