Fatpitchers DSP Guide to Vegas

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pigpen81
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Fatpitchers DSP Guide to Vegas

Post by pigpen81 »

This deserves a sticky :)


Check out the Mac King show (magic/comedy) at Harrah's. It's an afternoon show so it doesn't compete with the headliner stuff, and it's about an hour long. I recommend this to everyone and not one regretted going!

Absinthe is a pretty cool show if you're not easily offended. "O" is probably the best Cirque du Soleil show but also the most expensive. Ka and Mystere are cheaper and also good. Avoid Criss Angel. I thought Penn and Teller was slightly disappointing.

Don't play slots unless you hate money. Instead, get a blackjack strategy card and use that! (Slots have a 10x-40x higher house edge than blackjack). Playing table games is much more of a real casino experience than sitting in front of a slot, too. Don't play roulette, either; it's got a house edge about 10x higher than blackjack. If you don't want to mess around with strategy or learning rules at all and want something with a decent house edge, play baccarat (a lot of casinos have the mini version, where dealers and not the players handle the cards, at a $10 minimum bet). House edge is just about 1% (around 2x that of blackjack) and the only decision to make is "player" or "banker" - it's basically a coin flip, no strategy behind it. Don't play other table games unless you know optimal strategy (check wizardofodds.com), as you can throw away money pretty easily that way.

Or play poker. I recommend the Aria and the Bellagio for good poker rooms.

I recommend staying on the Strip in a decent hotel, but some people like downtown, too. I really don't recommend off-Strip, non-Downtown digs.

Bring comfy shoes - everything looks close but is actually quite far apart.

The Vesper Bar at Cosmopolitan is good for people watching, especially at night when all the nightclub-goers are walking by on their way to Marquee. I also like Parasol Up/Down at the Wynn. Drink on the patio outside and watch all sorts of weird little shows every few minutes on the little manmade lake. In terms of Downtown bars, I like the Downtown Cocktail Room.

The Shark Reef at Mandalay Bay and the Secret Garden and Dolphin Habitat at Mirage are moderately cool.

If you're feeling outdoorsy and have a car, check out the Red Rock Canyon. There's a scenic drive and places to get out and walk around (or just straight up go hiking). The Hoover Dam is also not far, but I've never been. Also, you can get helicopter tours of the Grand Canyon departing from here. They are awesome but expensive.

If you aren't renting a car, consider scheduling a limo for your ride from the airport to the hotel. It's not terribly expensive and arriving in style sets a good tone for the rest of the trip.

Make a list of 24 hour food places (there are quite a few), as you'll end being awake at hours you normally wouldn't and won't necessarily be sober enough to operate the internets. FatBurger near the MGM Grand and Earl of Sandwich in Planet Hollywood are two examples.

Must see/do:
Bellagio Fountains (one during the day and one at night)
Fremont Street Experience, early evening (crazy/tacky/weird)
Walk through Caesar's Palace Forum Shops (the Living Statues show is kinda meh though)
Walk through the Venetian Shops. And since it's your honeymoon, why not do a gondola ride, too?
Walk through the Cosmopolitan (I recommend getting a spiked milkshake at Holstein's to accompany you).
See the Conservatory at Bellagio
Eat at a high-end buffet: the Wynn Buffet, Wicked Spoon (Cosmopolitan), or Bacchanal (Caesar's)

Must not do:
Criss Angel
Zumanity (although the dwarf gymnast was awesome)
Go to the Hooters hotel/casino
Go to the Palace Station (50years old+ and bingo players excepted)
Listen to anyone with a GrandView Las Vegas badge (unless you want an overpriced timeshare)

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Re: Fatpitchers DSP Guide to Vegas

Post by RobVarak »

The pool at the Hard Rock Hotel. Find a way. Trust me... ;)
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Re: Fatpitchers DSP Guide to Vegas

Post by jLp vAkEr0 »

Only 2 more weeks 'till my HM in Vegas..


Thanx man!

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Re: Fatpitchers DSP Guide to Vegas

Post by dbdynsty25 »

RobVarak wrote:The pool at the Hard Rock Hotel. Find a way. Trust me... ;)
100% agree and it's impossible to even agree more than I agree, but I definitely agree. I'm getting blabbery just thinking about it. Literally the best place in the world to look at 18-26 year old chicks.

Edit: I definitely don't recommend going there on your honeymoon unless you want a quick divorce. Real talk.

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Re: Fatpitchers DSP Guide to Vegas

Post by LAking »

dbdynsty25 wrote:
RobVarak wrote:The pool at the Hard Rock Hotel. Find a way. Trust me... ;)
100% agree and it's impossible to even agree more than I agree, but I definitely agree. I'm getting blabbery just thinking about it. Literally the best place in the world to look at 18-26 year old chicks.

Edit: I definitely don't recommend going there on your honeymoon unless you want a quick divorce. Real talk.
To be honest there are quite a few good pools for ogling the young ladies these days. All types of "day clubs" in just about any of the newer luxury hotels, including "topless" pools. They almost always charge guys to get in, but still. There used to be a time when the hard rock was THE place to be for the young and drunk but i think that's changed a bit in recent years.
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Re: Fatpitchers DSP Guide to Vegas

Post by Brando70 »

Excellent advice. Vegas is magic!

It's also worthwhile to learn how to play the pass line/come bets in craps. You can get odds at blackjack levels if you ignore all the other types of bets, and there's nothing like being a hot table with a group of cheering drunks, especially if you're a shooter on a heater.

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Re: Fatpitchers DSP Guide to Vegas

Post by FatPitcher »

Brando70 wrote:Excellent advice. Vegas is magic!

It's also worthwhile to learn how to play the pass line/come bets in craps. You can get odds at blackjack levels if you ignore all the other types of bets, and there's nothing like being a hot table with a group of cheering drunks, especially if you're a shooter on a heater.
This is true. Craps is probably the most fun you can have playing casino games, as long as the table's not too cold. But sticking with the pass line + odds can be pretty tedious as most rolls won't affect you, and come betting can make your chips vanish very quickly. If you're placing enough bets for most rolls to matter (placing the 6 and 8 are the next best bet), then you can get wiped out quickly as well, especially at tables that have higher minimums.

Craps tables also seem to have a disproportionate amount of drunk cougars rubbing up against you. That's my personal experience, anyway.

Hard Rock pool scene was pretty decent when I went last year, although my friends who have been going for longer than I have say that the Hard Rock's slipping.

Of course, pools are only relevant during pool season. Any idea when that's starting this year? I was in Vegas over Super Bowl weekend and it was mid-60s during the day, so it can't be too long now...

Additional general advice (i.e., not necessarily for honeymoons in March):
- Everything is better with tips. Tip the front desk and they'll upgrade you or slip you some copons for freebies. Mention that it's your buddy/gf/wife's birthday or your anniversary or something and they often try to do something special. Tip the blackjack dealer and they'll tell you when you're making an obvious mistake (they typically aren't perfect with Basic Strategy but they're good enough). Everyone here gets paid jack in base salary, and so tips are greatly appreciated.
- Wynn/Encore has the best eye candy: cocktail waitresses plus hot chicks in skimpy clubwear when the high-end nightclubs there are open.
- If you are going to a gentlemen's club, call them up and get a free limo ride and no cover charge. And go to Spearmint Rhino or Sapphire. Definitely not Glitter Gulch (hagged out and yucky) or Little Darlings (no booze, and full nude is less appealing than you would think). If it's crowded, slip the doorman a $20 to skip the wait.
- If you are going to spend a lot of time by the pool on one day, reserve a cabana, usually $200 or so plus food/drink/tips (although they typically come stocked with basic stuff). The shade and private space is worth it.
- Taking a taxi from the airport to a hotel Center or South Strip? Ask for "no tunnel", which is an alternate route that increases the taxi fare and hence is employed by about 30% of taxi drivers whenever possible.
- If you are doing a decent amount of gambling, sign up for a player's card, especially if you are playing slots. Casinos often will give you a great offer for your next trip -free rooms, free slot play, etc. - just to see if you've got the "gambling gene". But don't play just to get comps, because you'll ending up paying far more than you normally would.
- If you want to be economical, hit a grocery store when you get there and pick up bottles of water and snacks for your room.
- Excalibur smells like a butt

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Re: Fatpitchers DSP Guide to Vegas

Post by ScoopBrady »

I went to the Wynn buffet and it was pricey but very good.

I did not like Freemont Street at all. I much preferred the strip. In hindsight I think I would have appreciated Freemont Street more had I gone right away instead of spending a couple nights on the strip already. It just felt like any Chicago neighborhood summer festival I could go to with the addition of casinos.

The only show I saw was the Beatles Love Cirque Du Soleil and it was very good. I've heard Penn and Teller put on a great show too.

Man, I really want to go back.
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