We found out a couple of weeks ago that my mom has cancer. At the time the doctors didn't seem too concerned, as it wasn't widespread. It sounded like they thought they could get rid of it.
She got transferred to a different hospital this week and they were able to get a better MRI and a CTC(?) scan. They found that it's all over her liver and spine. They now give her weeks to live.
There is nothing that has hit me harder than hearing this. She's only 60. She love spending time with our kids (7 & 4). Now she'll be going to a hospice, but likely never home again. We haven't told the kids yet, but we did take them to visit her yesterday. They know she's sick, but not that it's terminal.
I'm putting this out here because it's feels like a theraputic thing to do. Maybe other out here can offer some advie on how to tell the kids. I'm worrined about them and my dad more than myself. My dad is healthy, so he should be ok. I remember my grandparents going fast after one of them passed, and I don't want my dad to "give up" once she is gone.
Yes, watching baseball games get nickpicked seems trivial comapred to "real life", but it's also been a gerat diversion over the past few days. It's still good to get a game or two in each day, as it helps to keep me sane. Thinking about the reality of my mom would drive me nuts if I didn't get away from for a while each day.
To anyone reading this, thanks for listening. It helps to get this out there and just type the words.
OT: Cancer sucks
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matthewk
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OT: Cancer sucks
-Matt
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pk500
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Good Lord, Matt: I'm really sorry to hear this news, man. If sharing your thoughts here helps, then type away. We're here for you, man.
Take care,
PK
Take care,
PK
"You know why I love boxers? I love them because they face fear. And they face it alone." - Nick Charles
"First on the throttle, last on the brakes." - @MotoGP Twitter signature
XBL Gamertag: pk4425
"First on the throttle, last on the brakes." - @MotoGP Twitter signature
XBL Gamertag: pk4425
When things like this happen it goes to show how fragile life can be. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
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sportdan30
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Very sorry to hear this news Matt. Immediately I think of my mother, who also is in her 60s. I can't imagine something like this ever happening to her, but we all know life is so unfair sometimes.
I'm sure there are some wonderful support groups or articles on the internet that specifically deal with talking to your children about your mother's illness.
Your family is in my thoughts.
I'm sure there are some wonderful support groups or articles on the internet that specifically deal with talking to your children about your mother's illness.
Your family is in my thoughts.
Matt, when I read this, feelings of my own mom, who died of cancer/leukemia, 1 year ago came flooding back to me. I know exactly
how you feel and I really feel for you my man. My mom was older than yours at 78, but we still weren't ready for her to leave the planet.
For now, make sure you are there for your Mom and family. They will need someone strong to lean on. Be thankful that you are getting time to say goodbye to her and to make sure she gets everything she needs at this time.
When my Mom passed, we spent lots of time with her during the last weeks and she/we were able to say everything we needed to say to each other. Make sure she knows that you all will be alright and that her memory will always be with you. Reassure her so that she will be able to go in peace.
As far as the kids go....take this opportunity to teach them that death is a part of life. That it's not a horrible, morbid thing and it's just the natural cycle that all living things go through. Don't shield them from this experience. They will be better off in the long run from it and better able to deal with the world when they are adults. Teach them to treasure these last days with their Grandma.
My prayers are with you and your family. Every day from here on out that you have with her is a blessing. Make good use of it. And I TOTALLY understand coming here to talk about it. All the well wishes helped me get thru it and I'm sure you will realize we are all behind you as well. We share so much here with each other, it only makes sense to lean on each other a little bit when needed. If there is anything else you want to talk about, please dont hesitate to pm me. I pray your Mom isn't quite ready to go just yet.
how you feel and I really feel for you my man. My mom was older than yours at 78, but we still weren't ready for her to leave the planet.
For now, make sure you are there for your Mom and family. They will need someone strong to lean on. Be thankful that you are getting time to say goodbye to her and to make sure she gets everything she needs at this time.
When my Mom passed, we spent lots of time with her during the last weeks and she/we were able to say everything we needed to say to each other. Make sure she knows that you all will be alright and that her memory will always be with you. Reassure her so that she will be able to go in peace.
As far as the kids go....take this opportunity to teach them that death is a part of life. That it's not a horrible, morbid thing and it's just the natural cycle that all living things go through. Don't shield them from this experience. They will be better off in the long run from it and better able to deal with the world when they are adults. Teach them to treasure these last days with their Grandma.
My prayers are with you and your family. Every day from here on out that you have with her is a blessing. Make good use of it. And I TOTALLY understand coming here to talk about it. All the well wishes helped me get thru it and I'm sure you will realize we are all behind you as well. We share so much here with each other, it only makes sense to lean on each other a little bit when needed. If there is anything else you want to talk about, please dont hesitate to pm me. I pray your Mom isn't quite ready to go just yet.
Matt,
Completely agree with the subject line. To me, Cancer is the ugliest word in the English language. It took my Dad from my family back in 1998, and a day doesn't go by that I don't think of him.
I can relate to what you are going through. When we found out, my Dad was given months to live, and he made it almost a year. My children were only 5 and 2 when it happened, and I am so happy that my Dad got to spend time with both of them before he left. I don't think that I was ever specific with the boys about the seriousness of their Grandpa's sickness, as I really wanted every visit to be upbeat and I didn't want the boys to be scared or feel like they had to act different around him. You may want to take a different approach with your 7-year old, and share more information, but I dunno. I'm not an expert in the area.
Once he was gone, we let the boys know that Grandpa had gone to heaven, and they took it in stride. I think it's a difficult concept for a 5 and 2 year old. I'll tell you what, their innocent outlook on everything is one of the things that kept me sane during that time.
You and your family are in my thoughts at this time. Hang in there and focus on your family and realize that without friends and family, nothing else really matters.
Completely agree with the subject line. To me, Cancer is the ugliest word in the English language. It took my Dad from my family back in 1998, and a day doesn't go by that I don't think of him.
I can relate to what you are going through. When we found out, my Dad was given months to live, and he made it almost a year. My children were only 5 and 2 when it happened, and I am so happy that my Dad got to spend time with both of them before he left. I don't think that I was ever specific with the boys about the seriousness of their Grandpa's sickness, as I really wanted every visit to be upbeat and I didn't want the boys to be scared or feel like they had to act different around him. You may want to take a different approach with your 7-year old, and share more information, but I dunno. I'm not an expert in the area.
Once he was gone, we let the boys know that Grandpa had gone to heaven, and they took it in stride. I think it's a difficult concept for a 5 and 2 year old. I'll tell you what, their innocent outlook on everything is one of the things that kept me sane during that time.
You and your family are in my thoughts at this time. Hang in there and focus on your family and realize that without friends and family, nothing else really matters.
_______________________
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Amen. Your family is in our prayers Matt. Stay strong.You and your family are in my thoughts at this time. Hang in there and focus on your family and realize that without friends and family, nothing else really matters.
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ScoopBrady
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Wow, sorry to hear this Matt. I wish there were some words I could say or actions I could take to make this end happily for you but unfortunately there isn't. My sister-in-law's mother died from cancer about 4 years ago and it all happened so quick it was shocking and difficult to handle much less understand. You know you have a bunch of us here who you can lean on and if you ever just need someone to talk to just let me know.
As far as the kids are concerned, that's a tough call. How old are they?
As far as the kids are concerned, that's a tough call. How old are they?
I am a patient boy.
I wait, I wait, I wait, I wait.
My time is water down a drain.
I wait, I wait, I wait, I wait.
My time is water down a drain.
Matt,
God bless and best wishes. I can only echo the sentiments already shared. My Mom had stage 4 breast cancer about 10 years ago, but we were fortunate enough that she pulled through. The most valuable thing I learned from that experience was to really take the time to make sure you've communicated everything you need to, and (though my daughter wasn't born yet) that your kids have the chance to do the same.
Many families lose loved ones every day, and most don't get the opportunity to prepare, communicate and say a proper goodbye. You, and your kids, will be much better off for having this time.
Nothing makes it easy, and I can only imagine how you're feeling.
Hang in there, your DSP family is here if there is anything we can do.
God bless and best wishes. I can only echo the sentiments already shared. My Mom had stage 4 breast cancer about 10 years ago, but we were fortunate enough that she pulled through. The most valuable thing I learned from that experience was to really take the time to make sure you've communicated everything you need to, and (though my daughter wasn't born yet) that your kids have the chance to do the same.
Many families lose loved ones every day, and most don't get the opportunity to prepare, communicate and say a proper goodbye. You, and your kids, will be much better off for having this time.
Nothing makes it easy, and I can only imagine how you're feeling.
Hang in there, your DSP family is here if there is anything we can do.
Sport73
"Can't we all just get along? I'll turn this car around RIGHT now!"
"Can't we all just get along? I'll turn this car around RIGHT now!"
