OT: My Dad

TheTruth · Post by **TheTruth** » Sun Jan 22, 2006 10:11 am

I echo everyone elses sentiments. And want to thank you for posting your story. Definitely makes you aware of what really is important. My prayers will be with you and your family.

Spooky · Post by **Spooky** » Sun Jan 22, 2006 12:42 pm

My thoughts are with you and your family Don. Not much else I can say that has not been stated already. Hang in there!

snaz16 · Post by **snaz16** » Sun Jan 22, 2006 12:54 pm

Don,
My wife and I both lost our father's in 2004. Your dad is in good hands with hospice,we had them for both our dads,and rest assured he is in no pain. Assure your mom that he is in no pain and take some time for yourself and play a game. You owe it to yourself,for you are carrying the burden for your family,it can be overwhelming.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family,stay strong.
As I mentioned before take comfort in the fact that your dad is in good hands with Hospice,they are a wonderful organization dedicated to ensuring his comfort. Again, my thoughts and prayers for you and family.

BBReBozo · Post by **BBReBozo** » Sun Jan 22, 2006 3:18 pm

Don, I'm so sorry to hear this. My thoughts are with you during this difficult time.

spooky157 · Post by **spooky157** » Sun Jan 22, 2006 11:38 pm

That was an extremely moving post, Don. I hope all goes well with you and your family. Stay strong....

pigpen81 · Post by **pigpen81** » Mon Jan 23, 2006 12:07 am

Don, my Dad was visiting this weekend helping me re-finish a dresser for my unborn son that my Grandfather made for him 60 years ago

I always cherish my time with him, and after reading your post I gave him a big hug.

He went through a triple by-pass 6 years ago and is doing great.

I tear up thinking about his passing some day so I can only imagine how you feel right now.

I will say a huge heart-felt prayer for you and your Dad.

Please stay strong!

DChaps · Post by **DChaps** » Wed Mar 22, 2006 11:32 pm

Wow, I can't believe it has been two months since I posted this thread. I really appreciate all the thoughts and prayers from you all.

My Dad is still hanging in there. He has had some ups and downs, and even had Last Rites (Anointing of the Sick) a few weeks ago, but bounced back again. He is a fighter and contiunes to teach us about faith, dignity, willpower, and strength. This has been a very difficult time, but in some ways it could not be better. We have had so much help, support and prayers from family and friends.

So anyway, this Saturday my wife wakes up complaining of pain in her left side and a bad headache. As the day goes on, she begins to have a fever. At the point it hit 102 and climbing with severe pain and dizzyness we decided to head to the ER.

When they admitted us, her temp was up to 105 and they packed her in ice and started her on IV fluids and antibiotics. We ended up in the hospital for the last 5 days and they still are not sure what was wrong. We saw Urologists, Internists, and Infectious Disease doctors. Their best guess is a kidney infection and possibly a kidney stone, but the CAT scan and lab work did not show that definitively.

They finally let her go home today on oral antibiotics, and her fever seems to have stopped going up and down, but she still has some pain and headaches. I am glad to have her home, but I am still a little worried about what actually caused this.

I am going to see my Dad first thing in the morning as between my wife being in the hospital and taking care of the kids, I have been unable to see him since Sat. morning. Fortunately my mother-in-law was able to come down and help with the kids. I guess I write all this to say be thankful for your health.

pigpen81 · Post by **pigpen81** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 12:03 am

Don, wow, when it rains it poors.

Hang in there!

Your wife will getover this and I am happy to hear your Dad is a fighter.

Sudz · Post by **Sudz** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 12:58 am

is yr dad still in NC?

at duke...

i live in chapel hill and would gladly watch yr kids for a few hours while u were at the hosp.

(yeah...not a perv..i swear.) had neigbors spend time with me when i was a kid and my mom was fighting cancer...

good thoughts heading yr way.

TRI · Post by **TRI** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 1:38 am

DChaps wrote:Sorry it has been so long since I have posted here (well I did try a couple racing sim posts). I hope you all had a good Holiday season.

I don't know if I had posted this info here or not, but back in July my Dad was diagnosed with a cancerous brain tumor (Glioblastoma Multiforme). His is only 66 years old and fortunately was in very good physical health otherwise. He immediately had brain surgery which he recovered from very quickly, but they could only remove part of the tumor. He then started treatment in August under the guidance of the Duke University Brain Tumor Clinic. The first type of treatment did not work, so in late September he started an aggressive chemo/radiation cycle for about 6 weeks. Overall he did pretty well with it, although his brain comprehension seemed to deteriorate. After that cycle we visited the Duke clinic again just after Thanksgiving and got the bad news that the tumor had actually grown over 25% during the treatment. The type of tumor my Dad has is the most aggressive there is, so they decided to try one last experimental treatment that was so new that medical insurance would not pay for it. He started that the first week in December, but unfortunately things started going downhill very quickly.

The last several weeks have been crazy. My Dad started having seizures 4 weeks ago and while I was there one day for lunch he had one in which he stopped breathing and his heart stopped. My Mom and I did our best to revive him and fortunately he seemed to come out of it on his own. My brothers had called 911 and he was starting to breath again by the time the paramedics got there. We ended up in the ER at the hospital only to go through a pretty bad fiasco with the doctors and nurses there. They basically stated that there was nothing more they could do for him and that he was now a hospice case and that all treatment for his brain tumor would cease. While we were there, they made a mistake with his medication that caused more problems for him and they just did not give much care or attention.

This was all very difficult for my family to take, especially my Mom, since my Dad had just started a new experimental treatment through the Duke Brain Tumor Center that we were paying for in full since insurance would not cover it. This new treatment has shown a high success rate so far in stopping tumor growth, so we were very hopeful. Unfortunately, the type of tumor my Father has is not curable only palliative and they felt that these seizures were brought on by the new treatment, although seizures are an obvious side effect of any brain tumor. Additionally, my Dad's oncologist who has been very good to him, has been on vacation and virtually unreachable during this time. All communication has only been through the nurses of the oncologist and the Duke Brain Tumor Center has not done anything but state by phone they were in agreement with the ER doctors assessment. This was frustrating since these ER doctors have not been involved in my Dad's case at all over the last 6 months, yet somehow they seem to have been the ones to make the call to stop my Dad's treatment and basically declare him to be a hospice case.

Fortunately, we were put in contact with a hospice close to my parents home that has been very good to us so far. They moved him from the hospital to their facility for several days until his seizures were under control. Then they helped us get Dad moved home before Christmas. We moved him to the middle floor with hospital bed, oxygen, etc. I also convinced my Mom that we needed 24/7 nurses or certified nurse assistants to help out so that she could focus on being my Dad's wife and not his nurse. This was also difficult for my Mom, since as a nurse herself she wants to do everything, but I think she now feels better about it. My brothers and sisters and I have been rotating staying every day/night with my Mom and Dad as well, and many of my Dad and Mom's brothers and sisters have come from out of state to help. Many of my Dad's old friends have come by, as well as former co-workers, employees, etc. He is unable to walk or sit up and his mental state comes and goes, but he is usually very receptive to visitors and recognizes most people. He really gets a boost from seeing the grandkids, but we have had to be very careful as our whole household (myself, wife, 2.5 year old twins, mother-in-law, etc.) have been fighting cold, flu, cough stuff for the last few weeks. Everyone was sick for Christmas and New Years, but the kids still had a great time anyway. All things considered, we were able to have a pretty normal Christmas celebration with all the different family members even though the circumstances were difficult.

A few weeks ago, they were basically telling us it would only be a matter of days for my Dad. There were a couple nights where I did not think my Dad would make through the night, let alone make it to Christmas or get back home. He has put up a good fight and has stayed amazingly positive throughout this whole ordeal. Even now if you ask him how he is doing he says, "Oh pretty good.". However, I think he has tired of the battle at this point. He does not want to eat or drink and usually only does so just to please Mom or one of us kids. Fortunately, so far he does not appear to be in major pain, and I hope that the tumor has at least turned off that part of his brain. This week he had some good days and some bad days, but it seems no one can give us any kind of time frame other than to say "any day".

My Dad and Mom have an extremely strong faith and a close relationship. We have been surrounded by family and friends that have been praying for him and providing support. As bad as this has been at times, I have been thankful that my family has come together and that my Dad has been able to be at peace with all this. Even though my Dad and I have always been close and we know where we stand with each other, it has provided more opportunity for us to thank him for everything he has done for us and celebrate his meaning to us as a Father, Husband, Brother, Son, and Grandfather. I am more sad for my kids than anything else. They love their "Pa-Pa" and don't really understand what is going on, but we are doing our best to prepare them and help them understand that he will be with God.

It has been very difficult to continue to work and have any kind of normalcy at home with my wife and kids. I feel like I should just be at my parents house 24/7 and for many days that has been the case. Work has been very accommodating and I really have not been in the office for a few weeks. I am thankful to work for a company that really lives by the idea of "family first". My department has done a great job of keeping things going in my absence which is good, but also a little bit scary. Eventually, they will realize I am not necessary anymore I have not even checked e-mail and now have a backlog of 800+ e-mails to get through.

I have not played a video game or watched any sports in about 6 weeks. However, one of my brothers pointed out to me that these are things that my Dad always enjoyed doing with us and that he would want us to get back to some normal things.

I still feel a little strange even posting this info, but there are many people here that I do consider friends even though we have not met beyond the realm of trash talking on Xbox Live.

I also know many here have shared their real life experiences - whether good, bad, tragic or happy. I have prayed for many here who I have not met, and I appreciate that others here have shared stories that I might feel their pain and joy. Thanks.

PS - Hope to be back in the Xbox Live gaming mix soon.

I am very sorry to hear that you father has a high grade brain tumor and I know from experience how devastating this disease can be because someone in my family died recently from an aggressive Glioma tumor. We hope that your father can recover and be cured. Miracles are always possible.

pk500 · Post by **pk500** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 3:05 am

Wow, Don, continued thoughts and prayers!

Take care,
PK

Diablo25 · Post by **Diablo25** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 9:18 am

Hope things get better for you DChaps. Hang in there.

Brando70 · Post by **Brando70** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 10:47 am

Don, I'm sorry to hear about your wife and hope she feels better soon. I know it's tough with your father, but I'm heartened to hear it's brought your family close together and that your dad is able to keep sharing that closeness with all of you.

Zeppo · Post by **Zeppo** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 12:14 pm

Keep on hanging in there, Don. I sure hope your wife recovers quickly, I'm sure she will. All the best.

sportdan30 · Post by **sportdan30** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 1:01 pm

Definitely tough times Don, but your family is continuing to show its resiliency. Keep the faith and glad to hear your wife is doing better.

JackB1 · Post by **JackB1** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 1:50 pm

Don,
My hopes and prayers are with your Dad and your family.

I have a similiar situation going on with my Dad (76 yrs old), so I know exactly how you feel. Just 3 weeks ago, he was diagnosed with a 90% blockage in his carotid artery (the 2 large one's going to your brain). His other one is already 100% blocked due to a stroke 20 yrs ago. Then he suddenly lost the ability to swallow and was put on a feeding tube. He went downhill so quickly and suddenly. Me and my sister and Mom have been praying for him every day. He has improved slightly and has just left the hospital for subacute care in a nursing home. I don't get the feeling that he will last that much longer with the blockage he has. I am going to NJ to visit this weekend.

Sorry to thread-jack a bit here, but I just wanted to let you know I know exactly how you feel, even though your Dad's situtation is more "complicated", we are both facing the inevitable loss of our Dad's and it's very hard to accept. You feel so helpless in these situations and you get angry at medical staff that just dismiss your Dad as "old". You want them to do everything they can to save them, but to them it's just
another day at the office. Anyway, hope your Dad hangs in there for as long as he can and do your best to be strong for your family, as I will.

MizzouRah · Post by **MizzouRah** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 3:23 pm

Prayers to you and your family Don as well as Jack and his family.

DChaps · Post by **DChaps** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 6:26 pm

JackB1 wrote:Don, My hopes and prayers are with your Dad and your family...... Anyway, hope your Dad hangs in there for as long as he can and do your best to be strong for your family, as I will.

Thoughts and prayers right back at you Jack. I am sorry to hear about your Dad. You are right, it is a very helpless feeling. Will be thinking about you all.

sudz wrote: is yr dad still in NC? at duke...

i live in chapel hill and would gladly watch yr kids for a few hours while u were at the hosp.

(yeah...not a perv..i swear.) had neigbors spend time with me when i was a kid and my mom was fighting cancer...

good thoughts heading yr way.

Thanks for the offer sudz! Unfortunately, my Dad is just too weak and sick to continue treatment at Duke so he is at home now under hospice care.

WillHunting · Post by **WillHunting** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 10:35 pm

Tough to see our parents get old and sick... My thoughts and prayers are with your dad. He sounds like a fighter and I hope you guys get to spend as much time with him as possible! God bless!

DChaps · Post by **DChaps** » Sun Apr 16, 2006 8:16 am

My Father, Donald Raymond Chapman (aka Strong Dad), is now at peace after putting up a great fight these last several months. All my brothers and sisters and I have been with him and my Mother the last few nights. For two nights all twleve of us slept in the same room together with him, and we all continued to stay at my Mom and Dad's house, but early Saturday morning with just my Mom by his side, he tried one last time to tell her he loved her and then was at peace. I am so thankful for him, the gift of his life, and he how touched so many people. There are a million things I could say about my Dad, but he is my role model, my mentor, and my friend. We have been blessed with so many family and friends which have prayed, brought food, and provided support. I am very thankful for the support coming from my DSP family as well. My Mom has asked that donations be made in lieu of flowers to Food for the Poor, Habitat for Humanity, or the Southeastern Brain Tumor Foundation, just a few of the many charities my parents have been involved with over the years. Peace and God Bless....

JackDiggity · Post by **JackDiggity** » Sun Apr 16, 2006 8:27 am

Don,
Please accept my families deepest condolences. Your family is in our hearts today. God bless.

Badgun · Post by **Badgun** » Sun Apr 16, 2006 9:12 am

Don,
I am very sorry to hear of your loss. You and your family will be in our prayers. God bless.

Brando70 · Post by **Brando70** » Sun Apr 16, 2006 9:41 am

Don,

I am so sorry for your loss. I have been touched by the closeness and togetherness of your family that you've written about so eloquently here.

pk500 · Post by **pk500** » Sun Apr 16, 2006 10:10 am

Don:

Sincerest, heartfelt condolences to you and your family. Your father is at peace, a true hero not only to you but to many of us with whom you've shared your touching experiences.

On this Easter, take faith and heart that your dad is with God and that you will see him again. That's the message of hope for Easter, and I hope it provides some peace and comfort for you and your family.

Hang in there, man.

Take care,
PK

JackB1 · Post by **JackB1** » Sun Apr 16, 2006 10:18 am

Don,
Deepest sympathys for your loss. Your Dad is resting comfortably and all will heal with time. Be strong for your family during this difficult period.

Digital Sportspage

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