OT: About to have our 2nd child

matthewk · Post by **matthewk** » Thu Sep 04, 2003 5:03 pm

We are in the final stretch with our 2nd pregnancy. The baby is due Sept. 14th, and this time there doesn´t look to be any problems. Our son was born with a cleft lip an d palette, which was a lot of work early on, but doctors can do wonders, and he´s perfectly fine now.
 
 Anyways, this whole 2nd child thing has been freaking me out lately. PK, I know you have a pair (of Kids, you dirty minded little bastards), and you obviously still have time to game, so you give me hope. I think my biggest fear is that my own intrests will evaporate with a 2nd kid.
 I know it sounds selfish, but an only-child like myself is used to having his "me" time for things like games. I just hope I still have room for this once the baby comes.
 
 You guys have been great therapy for me in the past, so any words of encouragement now would help once again.
 
 Thanks,
 -Matt

Jackdog · Post by **Jackdog** » Thu Sep 04, 2003 5:13 pm

Congratulations brother!! I only have 1 guppy.(PK´S word) You´ll be fine man. Game away <IMG SRC="images/forum/icons/icon_wink.gif">
 
 Maybe you should game a little more just to keep a 3rd one from joining the family <IMG SRC="images/forum/icons/icon_biggrin.gif">

pk500 · Post by **pk500** » Thu Sep 04, 2003 5:45 pm

MattK:
 
 First things first: Congrats!
 
 Second, relax. The difference between no children and one child is MUCH bigger than the difference between having multiple children. You already know the drill about kids, so this won´t be that big of an adjustment.
 
 For the early months of your new arrival´s life, everything will resemble the first few months of your firstborn´s life. You´ll have to make adjustments.
 
 But I´m assuming that your oldest child sleeps through the night. So basically you´ll only need to alter your gaming around the night-time sleep and feeding patterns of the newborn.
 
 I game just as much now, with two kids, as I did when we had no kids. But the big difference is that I game when I can, not when I want to. The kids and my wife ALWAYS come first. But there´s still plenty of time for sloppy seconds for gaming and other hobbies.
 
 That means gaming only after the kids and my wife go to bed at night. No big deal. I still have three or four hours of free time per night. So I can´t play during the day. Big deal! Who the hell wants to sit in front of a TV on a nice day, anyways?
 
 I´m assuming you already made that transition with Guppie No. 1. So all you need to do is carry on with Guppie No. 2.
 
 Oh, and I don´t need to say this, but it´s always a healthy reminder: People take priority over game machines. <IMG SRC="images/forum/icons/icon_smile.gif">
 
 One other reminder: There are 24 hours in every day! Plenty of time to find some gaming space. <IMG SRC="images/forum/icons/icon_smile.gif">
 
 Best of luck, mate!
 
 Take care,
 PK [ This message was edited by: pk500 on 04-09-2003 14:46 ]

mixdj1 · Post by **mixdj1** » Thu Sep 04, 2003 5:49 pm

Congrats man!
 
 I can understand your concern. I´m 34 and just recently got engaged to an amazing woman that has a six year old daughter. My gaming time has been reduced but I still find time to squeeze a game in here and there.
 
 I never thought I´d have kids because I thought I was too much of a kid myself but the last few months of being a step-dad-to-be has changed my outlook. In fact, the future Mrs. Mix and I are considering a sibling for our daughter after about a year of marriage.
 
 I also look forward to any hints, tips, suggestions for getting maximum gaming time while still being a top rate parter for my wife and parent for my guppy(ies). My first step I´m looking at is ditching the PC games (I´m a PC & console gamer) because they tend to be more time consuming. Plus I can let the little one play educational stuff on the PC while I game on the good ole Xbox.
 
 mixdj1

pk500 · Post by **pk500** » Thu Sep 04, 2003 6:12 pm

Mixer:
 
 Congrats, man!
 
 Simple advice:
 
 1. The frau and the kids come first. You can find time to game after they go to bed. Again, you can game as much as before, but you need to fit it around others.
 
 2. My pure opinion only, but I would keep the kiddo away from the PC as much as possible. Kids will learn all about PC´s in school. I don´t let my kids get near my PC or Xbox. I want my kids to want to run outside and play, play ball, play with cardboard and construction paper, draw, color, ride bikes, play dress-up -- all of the s*** we did as kids. We know how addictive PC´s and gaming are for us 30-somethings. So how tough will it be for a kid without willpower to deny themselves the allure of electronic gaming and information?
 
 Something to chew on ...
 
 Take care,
 PK

tjung0831 · Post by **tjung0831** » Thu Sep 04, 2003 9:02 pm

Matt,
 
 Congrats to you and your wife. I have two boys ages 4 and 1 and believe it or not there really isn´t much difference raising two kids. I get plenty of time for gaming but most of it comes after 9:00pm which is when I have free time. I´ll be honest...I have a wife that´s a saint and I need to devote more time to her but she understands me and accepts me for me.
 I´ve taken the opposite approach of Paul Kelly in that I let my 4 year old play video games. I bought a nintendo strictly for him and I only let him play the more kid friendly games, as well as most racing games which he enjoys. The way I see it is that he´s growing up way to fast anyway and he´s going to hit that age here in a few years where hanging with dad isn´t very cool. Plus in the new neighborhood he has lots of new buddies his age and he would always choose to be outside playing with other kids over playing video games if given the choice. I guess I just don´t want to let go yet and I get great enjoyment playing these video games with him or watching him figure things out. He has actually figured stuff out on some games before me...sometimes I´m just downright amazed at what he figures out.
 So I don´t have any hangups with him playing video games....I know every monday night he´s playing organized hockey with other 4 year olds and every other day he´s socializing with the other kids at pre-kindergarten.
 I´ll break my other son in the same way provided he´s interested.
 
 Congrats again...
 
 Tim

matthewk · Post by **matthewk** » Mon Sep 08, 2003 11:05 am

Wow, thanks guys for all the positive replies. No baby yet, but we´re into the last week now. My nesting is almost over <IMG SRC="images/forum/icons/icon_biggrin.gif">
 
 My gaming schedule will likely remain the same, that being at night after the kids and wife go to bed. The biggest issue will be how long I can force myself to stay awake. I´m like PK in that I won´t play with my son or wife around, but once they´re gone shopping or in bed, it´s go time!!
 
 -Matt

pk500 · Post by **pk500** » Mon Sep 08, 2003 11:23 am

Matt:
 
 One of the positives of aging is that you require less sleep. When I was in my 20s, I HAD to have 7, 7 1/2 hours of sleep per night.
 
 Now that I´m in my late 30s, 6, 6 1/2 works just fine.
 
 An extra hour for fun!
 
 Take care,
 PK

sportdan30 · Post by **sportdan30** » Mon Sep 08, 2003 4:47 pm

Pre-congrats Matt. Should be exciting not only for you and your wife, but for your son as well. I can´t offer you any advice as we´re expecting our second child in February. The kids will be exactly 2 years apart just about. By the way, we´re not finding out what we´re having just to keep it more of a suprise and more suspenseful.
 
 My problem with gaming is this: My son goes to bed between 7:30 and 8. I basically race home from work (home around 5) so I can spend as much time with him as possible. However, here´s where the problem arises. I´m really trying to reassert myself back into daily excercising, and it´s soooo easy to turn on the ball game or game for the next 2 and a a half hours before I go to bed. So, I´m trying to hit the gym right when he goes down, get in an hour workout or so....race home and eat something...watch a little tv and then game. There just doesn´t seem to be enough time in the day it seems.
 
 Now, with another one on the way... with their crazy sleep schedules and whatnot, excercising and gaming will probably take a huge hit. I´ve heard one child is hard, but two is absolutely crazy. Just wanted to let ya know I´m in the same boat....paddling upstream in a hellish current. But, I´ve got a huge grin on my face...I can´t wait! Everything will work out. Nothing better than that first smile or first "da da". Better than any video game. <IMG SRC="images/forum/icons/icon_wink.gif">

pk500 · Post by **pk500** » Mon Sep 08, 2003 6:51 pm

>>>My problem with gaming is this: My son goes to bed between 7:30 and 8. I basically race home from work (home around 5) so I can spend as much time with him as possible. However, here´s where the problem arises. I´m really trying to reassert myself back into daily excercising, and it´s soooo easy to turn on the ball game or game for the next 2 and a a half hours before I go to bed.<<<
 
 Dan:
 
 As a father of two young-ins, I have an easy solution: Work out in the morning.
 
 I´m not sure when you get to work, but just get up earlier to work out. It works great for me. The roads have hardly any traffic at 6:30-7 a.m., so cycling is even that more relaxing. Plus my workout is done by 8 a.m., so I don´t even have to worry about temptation to skip the workout in the evening after the kids go to bed. And you´re not cutting into any of the time with the kids by working out right after dinner.
 
 Of course, I work at home, so my commute is 30 seconds. Still, I think working out in the morning can work for almost anyone. Really puts a lot of zip into your day and gets it kick-started, big time.
 
 Best of luck on the new arrival! Cool that you´re not learning the gender. We didn´t learn the gender of both of our kids, either. With everything seemingly so mapped out in childbirth due to modern medicine these days, it´s nice to maintain some suspense.
 
 I always had people say, "What about the nursery? The clothes?" My response was, "s***, isn´t Winnie the Pooh or Peter Rabbit androgynous? It´s not like it will be Metallica wallpaper if it´s a boy or Britney Spears wallpaper if it´s a girl!" <IMG SRC="images/forum/icons/icon_smile.gif">
 
 >>>I´ve heard one child is hard, but two is absolutely crazy.<<<
 
 Again from experience, not true. It´s a MUCH, MUCH bigger adjustment to go from no kids to one kid than from one kid to two kids. Night-and-day difference. You´re already a dad -- you know the drill. Now it´s just double the drill. But learning the drill is way tougher than doubling it, in my experience.
 
 Take care,
 PK [ This message was edited by: pk500 on 08-09-2003 15:53 ]